


tempus rerum edax

by starbornillyrian



Series: what a plot twist you were [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Basilisks, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gen z, Hogwarts Chamber of Secrets, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Maybe - Freeform, Mental Health Issues, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Possible Polyamory, Romance, Sexual Assault, Slow Burn, american at hogwarts, no beta we die like women, time travel fic, who knows at this point y’all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26354704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbornillyrian/pseuds/starbornillyrian
Summary: time, devourer of all things.basically, an american teenage girl in 2020 time travels back to the marauders era and goes to hogwarts.rated mature for lots of curse words and mentions of sex. there's definitely gonna be a ship, and im not entirely sure which but im pretty sure.also, warning for mentions of depression, anxiety, and abuse.i’d also like to say that the way the character experiences these things is not necessarily accurate for everyone! everyone has different ways of processing and coping.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Remus Lupin/Original Character(s), Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Original Character(s), Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s)
Series: what a plot twist you were [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2094417
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	1. Where the Fuck was She?

By all accounts, this should be a good day.

The sun was shining, rainbows were reflecting off the water. Birds were chirping, fluffy cumulus clouds were drifting lazily by.

So, logically, yes, this should be a good day.

Right?

So then why didn’t it feel like it?

Thea’s stomach had been in her kneecaps since she’d woken up, and everything was just so… bland? Monotonous. Fucking boring.

It felt like nothing ever changed, Thea didn’t ever actually _do_ anything. 

It was just sleep for maybe five hours, lie in bed for another five, maybe eat at some point, stare at the ceiling, wish to go outside without a mask, to be around other humans, but simultaneously hate human contact, occasionally shower, repeat.

Today was _supposed_ to be good. But some things had ‘supposed to’s and some didn’t. Like, no one is _supposed_ to act a certain way just as a person going through their life, but parents are _supposed_ to be raising their children, preparing them to leave and live their lives.

Thea guessed that it was a matter of what you signed up for and what you didn’t. Thea didn’t sign a fucking waiver before she was born. She didn’t give consent to live in this fucking hellscape. 

A sigh resonated through her chest. The air was humid, but that’s just life in south Texas most of the year. It was like she was both baking and inhaling directly above a humidifier.

It was also a brain day, as Thea liked to call it. (read : a depressive episode.)

She had been officially diagnosed with major depression almost six months ago, in March. 

But, honestly, looking back, she had had the symptoms of depression for a really long time. _Years_. (One symptom of depression is gaining or losing about 20 pounds at a time, and Thea had been consistently gaining 20 pounds or so throughout middle school periodically. And that’s just one example.)

Which really did not pass the vibe check for a fifteen year old. 

Thea didn’t really know what caused it, just that it was being extra now because she had no friends. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She had people she called friends in passing, that she shared classes with and such, but she didn’t have any _real_ friends, you know?

Like those friends that you can call at three in the morning to talk about why you hate bananas and nutella together or the fact that you feel like you’re never going to amount to anything, and they won’t question it, they’ll just be there. Those friends that can just look at you and know if something’s wrong. The friends that are ride or die.

Thea had probably never actually had one of those friends, but the closest she had gotten was Katy. 

Katy and Thea had met in sixth grade, and at first they kind of hated each other. Thea thought Katy was mean, but she just didn’t have much of a filter. But then they actually got to know each other and just _got_ each other. At least that’s what it felt like to Thea.

But, she hadn’t seen Katy in over a year, and today, September 1st, was her sixteenth birthday. 

For freshman year, Thea had gone from a super preppy, conservative Christian school, that she had gone to for five years, to a school mainly focused on fine arts, that was insanely accepting, that actually taught you to figure out things like your sexuality, or your beliefs, and was just all around fucking amazing.

After that, well, actually, since Thea had made the decision to go to the school, Katy had basically shut her out. Everything felt strained, forced. Once school was out, they never talked. 

And Thea didn’t fucking _know_ how to start a conversation. It’s like everyone gets this part of their brain that was like a natural ability to talk to other people, and that bit of Thea’s brian just signed off. Left the chat. Or was never added to the chat in the first place. (She liked to think of that non-existent section of her brain as the ‘talky bit’.)

Thea wanted to text her, but what the fuck could she say?

‘hey i still love you you fucker, happy birthday’?

‘hey i miss you and you’re old now ha’?

How do you tell your best friend that you love them but simultaneously hate them for leaving you? How do you say that you are decidedly _not_ the same innocent, ‘happy’ little middle schooler you were and you needed them? And how do you handle it when you know they were - no, _are_ so much more important to you than you were to them? When _they_ don’t need _you_?

Those were the _fucking_ questions, weren’t they?

Thea took a deep breath. She needed to stop, needed to get out of her head. _Fuck_. 

Ok, ok, out of her head, out of her head.

She looked around, searching for a distraction. _Think about something else._

Nature was really beautiful. The trees were such a vibrant green, and the water was a clear turquoise. It was an absolutely gorgeous day.

But Canyon Lake is always like that. 

Thea and her dad had been coming here pretty much her whole life. Dad had a house just off the lake and a boat, which Thea had tried to learn to drive. (Can you smell the privilege? It took her breath away sometimes, how guilty it made her feel.) They hadn’t actually been out in the boat in almost a year. Today would be a great day for it.

It was in the high 90’s, not particularly windy. And barely anyone was on the water. 

People usually came out on Saturdays and Sundays, but Thea and her dad were here on a Tuesday, so it was really empty. 

They didn’t usually come out during the week, but school was starting next week, on Tuesday, and Dad had some time off he needed to use before the year ended, or something like that, so they decided to come out before Labor Day weekend. And Dad had to take care of the house.

It made sense, but Thea wished they could have stayed home. 

The trip back and forth always left her exhausted, three hours in the car each way. And there wasn’t much to do here.

Thea pretty much just sat on the shore of the lake, and hung out. Read. Played guitar. Sang. Or just _was_. 

Her guitar case was closed beside her, and she was using her backpack as a pillow.

The clouds were so white today, they kind of hurt to look at. 

And it was so peaceful here. The sound of the water. The soft tickling of the grass beneath her. 

She barely got any sleep the night before. . .

* * *

A boom of thunder startled Thea awake. 

At first she was confused as to where she was, but she saw her guitar case beside her, arms now wrapped around her bag like a teddy bear, and she remembered.

Right. Trip to the lakehouse. Brain day. Boredom. And now it was raining. (When had she fallen asleep?)

Thea usually enjoyed being in the rain, it made her feel clean and free and wild, but at the moment she was more worried about her things getting soaked.

Thankfully, though, she wasn’t all that far from the house.

Lightning struck, brightening the darkened sky for a moment and making her jump.

Taking that as her cue, she hefted her bag over her shoulder and gripped the handle of her guitar case.

Where did this storm even come from? She could have sworn the weather was clear earlier.

It didn’t take long to reach the house, and the warm porch light was on, glowing into the gloom of the rain. It must have been pretty late if the light was on. How long had she been out?

After pulling the heavy oak door open, she shook out her hair and gently set her case and bag down by the door.

“Ah, Miss Greene, there you are!” A male voice with a British accent called from in front of her.

The fuck?

Thea’s head whipped up, to find a man with long white hair and a beard, looking at her over half moon spectacles at the front of a long hall.

Said long hall was empty of people, but four tables stretched down it, all the way to a ginormous black door. They looked like they could fit hundreds of people.

Where the fuck _was she_? 

A second ago, she was just walking into her childhood vacation destination, the lakehouse, but it wasn’t the lakehouse. It was here? But _where was here_?

Above her head, candles bobbed in the air, and the cloudy night sky stretched above it, thunder rumbling and lightning flashing in the clouds.

How was that possible? Wouldn’t the room be flooding now? Or at least wet? And where was the roof?

“Miss Greene! If you would follow me, please,” The man called. Was that…? No, that could _not_ be Albus fucking Dumbledore, right?

Thea opened her mouth to say something, she had no idea what, but the man (Dumbledore?!) turned away with a twinkle in his eye(?) and walked down the hall.

Okay, so if that was Dumbledore, which seemed fucking impossible, but if she were to believe for a second that _that man_ was _Albus Percival Wulfric Brian_ fucking _Dumbledore_ , then that would mean that Thea was standing in front of one of the staff doors at the front of the Great Hall. In Hogwarts. 

Behind her, the door was still slightly ajar, but when Thea looked, it just led to some medieval-looking passageway. 

Flickering torches hung on the walls, which were made of weathered stone bricks. But it was empty. No wooden porch on the other side of the door. Just stone and fire.

By the time she was done checking the door, (more like staring at it,) Dumbledore was already almost to the entrance.

So, naturally, she scooped up her shit and practically ran to catch up.

But running was more difficult than she anticipated, because she was wearing a flowy robe thing, a button-down, and a skirt, kind of like her uniform in middle school, instead of the t-shirt and shorts she distinctly remembered putting on that morning. 

Honestly, though, that wasn’t the weirdest thing happening in this fever dream situation, so she didn’t really think on it for too long.

Thea just followed the man. 

Now that she was looking more closely, she noticed that he was wearing periwinkle robes with gold accents and a matching pointy hat. 

It was pretty stylish, to be honest. But it was also Dumbledore. The _fucker_. 

They walked in silence for several minutes, long enough for Thea to contemplate her situation.

Okay. So, if she was in Hogwarts following Albus Dumbledore, she must be dreaming.

So what should she do? There wasn’t really any harm in going along with it, right? 

If her brain was providing her with this wonderful little escape from reality, she should take it, shouldn’t she?

Yes. She should. _You should,_ she thought at herself firmly. Shaking finger and all. 

She nearly walked into Dumbledore when they came to a stop right in front of the griffin door, she was so lost in her thoughts. (By the way, _very_ subtly, Dumbly. You’re not biased _at all._ ) 

“Curly wurly,” He said in such a completely serene voice that Thea barely held back her snort. 

What the fuck was a curly wurly? That sounded ridiculous. But what should she expect from _Dumbeldore_?

They stepped onto the stairs as they started to rise and it felt like an escalator.

The office was both exactly what she’d imagined and completely different. 

The room was circular, moving portraits of previous headmasters and bookshelves lining the walls. The little metal contraptions were there, filling the room with ambient noise. And two staircases lead up to a balcony looking thing from either side of Dumbledore’s desk. Fawkes was on his perch, his eyes closed. Maybe napping. And his feathers were so vibrant. He was beautiful. (Actually, no, _they_ were beautiful. She didn’t want to assume their gender. _Bad_ brain.)

In all those ways, it was just as she’d pictured. But there was a touch to it, a feeling that was just so utterly _Dumbledore_ , that hadn’t been described in the books or the movies. And there was no other word for it. She didn’t know what it was but it was everywhere she looked.

“Miss Greene, please take a seat,” He sat at his desk, picking a piece of candy before holding a bowl out to her, “Toffee?”

* * *

Thea wasn’t so sure she was dreaming anymore.

She didn’t have nearly enough brainpower in her post-quarantine, end-of-summer state to come up with this stuff.

So, the Sorting Hat had barely been on her head before shouting ‘HUFFLEPUFF!’ Even though it was only her and Dumbledore there. (Thea, before that, still had no clue what house she should be in. The Pottermore quiz results changed a lot. And they didn’t feel particularly real. Like, she would overthink her answers and where they’d put her instead of her genuine answer.) 

Afterwards, Dumbledore explained that the curriculum at Ilvermorny was slightly different than Hogwarts’, so she would have a bit of catching up to do, and her wand was being owled to them. (Apparently Ilvermorny students left their wands at school over break. She definitely hadn’t known that before.) Then, Professor Sprout came to take her down to the Hufflepuff common room.

And it was honestly such a vibe. Like a Hobbit hole, with its round doors and low ceilings, but cozier. And with more plants.

The room was a circle, with thin windows close to the ceiling and a fire crackling in the center. 

It had a nice aesthetic of yellow and grey beanbags and pillows, (there were no raised chairs,) with splashes of green, from various plants around the room.

The floors were covered in an array of worn rugs, all different patterns and colors, but fitting together so comfortingly well. Barely any of the stone floor was visible.

In some parts of the room were slightly raised tables, maybe a foot off the ground, presumably to study at. 

And Thea loved it.

It was like getting home after years of being away. She didn’t even know how it was possible to feel that way, since she’d never actually been there before, but something about it was just so familiar.

Professor Sprout showed her where she would be staying, and it was even more homey, if that were possible. 

It was another circular room, through another Hobbit door and a hallway on the right side of the common room. It was filled with twin beds that were set into nooks in the walls. Each nook had its own shelves, as well as curtains. It was really nice

After that, Professor Sprout shared a tradition of the Hufflepuff house.

There was a hidden room off the commons, (she wasn’t entirely sure where; Professor Sprout asked her to close her eyes and let her guide Thea,) filled with patchwork quilts, each rolled up and in its own little cubby hole. The first years were all taken there individually on their first night, to pick a quilt that they would use for the rest of their time at Hogwarts. 

But they weren’t just any quilts. 

In sixth year, the head of house taught all of their Hufflepuffs how to make their own quilts by hand. All of sixth year was spent practicing, and in seventh year, they made their own to leave for a future student. Also, after graduation, they got to take the quilt they used with them, as a little piece of Hogwarts to keep. 

It was too adorable. It felt like all of Thea’s uwus were popping out. 

And she got to pick one for herself. 

It took a while, but Professor Sprout told her to take her time. 

Eventually, after what was probably a solid twenty minutes, Thea came across hers. It wasn’t even that much of a choice. Not to be cliche, but it just felt so right.

It was beautiful. On the outside it was incredibly simple. White, with five thick strips of color running horizontally. Navy blue, turquoise, mustard yellow, beige, and muted burgundy. 

But on the inside, it was breathtaking. (At least to Thea.) And it was insanely soft. 

It was a collection of tiny squares, a rainbow of all sorts of different fabrics, some with words, some with pictures, some just colors or patterns.

‘I’m scared, too, but we’ll make it,’In graffiti.

‘You’re not lost. You’re here,’ On one of those signs outside of theaters and fast food places, where you slide the letters into each row.

‘Brutally soft,’ On a yellow background.

Pictures of sunsets, of oceans, of streets, of _life_.

Solid greens, greys, blues, purples, oranges, whites, yellows, blacks, reds, any color you can imagine.

Patterns of flowers, fish, chevron, and so much more.

Thea had woken up, wrapped up in it like a burrito. The yellow curtains in front of her bed wall hole thing were drawn and she could hear the light snores of her new roommates.

_New roommates._

God, she still couldn’t believe this was real. 

I mean, there was no way it wasn’t, because, one, she had stubbed her toe right before going to bed in this dream world that wasn’t a dream world, and it didn’t wake her up. It also hurt like a motherfucker. Two, she could read things. Three, she had slept and woken up. Oh, also, kind of unrelated, but last night’s sleep was the best Thea had had in months. Probably _years._

Maybe it was the exhaustion. I mean, waking up in an entirely different place and just running with it can be pretty tiring. 

But maybe it was just how utterly at home she had felt. Everyone that talked to her was friendly, and the whole place, the common room, the dorm, it just had the vibe, you know? Like, _the_ vibe.

Either way, straight after the feast, where her new housemates were incredibly welcoming and Thea had eaten several helpings of lemon chicken and mashed potatoes, (some of the only foods she recognized,) she had unpacked a little and gone to sleep. Which was around 9:30. 

Sitting up and glancing at her watch, she saw it was 6:17. 

So, counting that up would be, one, two, three… almost nine hours of sleep!

Nine!

_Oh my gOd._

Thea was doing a little happy dance in her head.

Sleep had been an issue for her for a long time. She either slept for four or five hours, waking up periodically, or slept for fifteen or sixteen hours like a hibernating bear. Both left her exhausted all the time.

But the healthy medium of about eight hours had been achieved! Ha _ha!_

And she felt so _good_! So awake! Jesus fucking Christ!

Most mornings she could barely think, but today, she had done this whole inter-monologue speil thing, hadn’t she?

Yeah. She had. 

Wow.

The realization sent a jolt of excited energy through her, and she couldn't help but kick her legs giddily and plop back down on her back, hugging her pillow.

 _Wow_.

She spent a while just noticing her change in mood before she got up.

(That was a thing she liked to do a lot. Just take the time to notice things about herself. Other people, too.)

Okay, so today she felt bouncy. Bouncy?

Yeah, that word felt right. It was like energy was coursing through every part of her, and she felt really light. Like she might actually be able to run like a mile. And - guys, gals, nonbinary pals - _and_! She felt like she had more than negative three brain cells! Maybe like, a solid 0.836.

Damn. Was this-was this what _not_ having crippling depression felt like? 

_Serotonin? Have you found me?_

Wow. (Yes, again, hah.) 

She noticed that her lips were pulled up a little in a smile. For no particular reason.

And the mean voice in her head was being quiet right now. Good.

With this newfound energy, she decided to get up. 

She checked her watch again. 6:21.

Okay, someone (she couldn’t remember who,) had said that breakfast started at 7:00 and schedules were handed out around 7:45, so she had over an hour.

And, strangely, she actually felt okay with herself today. Like, she wanted to take care of herself. (Self care! Yay!)

The bathroom was pretty interesting to Thea. She’d never seen one like it before. (But maybe she just hadn’t seen a lot of communal bathrooms.)

So, there’s a rectangular room, right?

You enter on one side, (Thea was careful not to wake her roommates,) and the wall to the right of the door was taken up by a long counter space with two sinks. Above that was a mirror that filled the whole rest of the wall.

To the left of the door from the dorm were three more doors. Two of them led to shower rooms, with benches and towel racks, and the other led to a toilet room.

On the opposite wall of the entrance was another door, which also led to a toilet room.

Between the three doors on the left wall were three shelves each.

So it was like : door, shelves, door, shelves, door.

And the shelves were labeled for whose was whose.

It was a really convenient system. She was impressed.

Each girl had their own shelf for toiletries and such, plus a shelf for towels on each side. (Hence the labels.)

Damn, this was nice, bro.

Her shelf was the bottom one on the right. Everything of hers toiletry-wise was already unpacked, she had done it last night, and by the looks of it, so had her housemates. 

(Off topic, Thea’s stuff was actually here! She tended to overpack, so she had taken a shit ton of stuff to the lakehouse with her : pretty much all her favorite clothes, all her toiletries, several books, her yearbook, since she’d just gotten it and she wasn’t sure if she’d want to look through it, her guitar, her ukulele, chargers, all that shit. All of that, other than her guitar, had been put in this big-ass trunk with her initials on it (T.S.G.) along with several pairs of uniforms and school supplies. So she was set. )

A shower sounded like a good idea first, so that’s exactly what she did. 

The shower room she picked was really clean, and the floor mat (fluffy yellow) felt really nice on her bare feet.

The hot water was so soothing, pouring over her head. It felt cleansing, like all the bad thoughts, all the sucky things, were being washed away.

It was really nice. 

Thea ended up showering for over half an hour, and by then, it seemed her roommates were awake.

When she walked back into the bathroom, freshly showered and shaved and dressed in the Hogwarts uniform, Amelia was at one of the sinks, brushing her teeth, holding her long blonde hair away as she spit. 

Amelia was really pretty, with clear blue eyes and full lips. She was tall and skinny, one of those people that had really long limbs, standing several inches above Thea.

As she washed off her toothbrush, she turned to talk to Maya, who was perched in the other sink, doing her makeup. It looked like a pretty uncomfortable position. 

Maya was also pretty, her skin a smooth caramel. Her eyes were brown, with starbursts of gold in them. Her hair was braided up from her hair line and then fell down her back. (It reminded her of Angelica’s hairstyle in Hamilton.)

She stopped putting on mascara to look at Amelia and respond, something about a fine line between nipping and biting. Honestly, Thea didn’t really want to know what _that_ was about. (But it made her think of sex and hickeys and things like that.)

Back in the dorm, all of the beds’ curtains were open, so that meant that Beatrice, the last fifth year Hufflepuff girl, was probably showering.

She was _also_ pretty, with blue eyes and flaming red hair and tons of freckles.

(Seriously, why were all the girls so pretty??? It was a bit distracting, to be honest.)

Back at her bed, she started pulling all her school supplies out of her trunk, curious as to what they were. A bunch of different textbooks, rolls of parchment, and quills.

Thea didn’t have a satchel or anything like that, so she dumped out her little grey backpack and put all the school shit in there. And it all fit, thank God. (or Helga? Didn’t Hogwarts students use their Founders’ names as curse words? Maybe that was just a fanfic thing.)

(Woah, wait, was this a fanfic? Was someone reading her thoughts right now? Um, hello, random fanfic reader. This plot was honestly like a fanfic, though. But nah, that wasn’t realistic. Her brain was too scary a place to write about. Even on AO3.)

Checking the time, Thea saw she still had maybe 45 minutes before she needed to get down to the Great Hall for her schedule. (She didn’t really eat breakfast.)

With that in mind, she set to organizing her shit.

Now, she had already done a little bit of unpacking, but that was pretty much only toiletries and her book (Favorite Poems of Emily Dickinson.)

The rest of her stuff was haphazardly shoved into her trunk.

So how should she organize her stuff? She could do personal stuff like books and her phone on one shelf, one of the two at the foot of her bed. Clothes could go on one of the long shelves. Her guitar and ukulele should be able to fit in the other long shelf. And then school supplies and things could go on the remaining shelf at the foot of her bed. Okay, great.

Thea got to it.

Clothes went into a pile on her bed, for her to sort through and maybe fold later. 

T-shirt, shorts, converse, socks, bra, t-shirt, t-shirt, bra, boxers, boxers, boxers, bra, yearbook. 

That could go on the top shelf at the foot of her bed. It was a really pretty book, white with a red and blue outline of the building and a giant 20 on the front. 

Wait. This is a yearbook. _Fuck_.

What if someone saw it? She had no clue what year this was supposed to be. She was from _2020_. Judging by the teachers, this was at least before Harry came to school, probably by several decades. And she had a book with a bunch of dates and pop culture references and all sorts of other shit that didn’t belong in the 20th century.

Should she throw it out? Burn it? Hide it? Would anyone even see it? Should she even worry?

No, it’s better to be safe than-

“Thea?”

Her head shot up as she jumped, and her yearbook nearly fell out of her hands. Thea hugged it to her chest, “Hmm?”

Amelia, Maya, and Beatrice were all standing in the doorway, looking at her.

Beatrice was the one that called her name, “D’you want to come to breakfast with us? We were just about to head up,” She pointed a thumb over her shoulder.

“Nah, that’s okay. Thank you, though,” Thea gave a small smile. That was kind of them to ask.

“Okay, well, we’ll see you later, then!”

All three of them smiled at her or waved, and disappeared out the door. Only after it shut with a click did she relax.

She hadn’t even realized she’d tensed. 

God, this was insane. She was at Hogwarts. In some undisclosed year. And she couldn’t just go up to someone and say, ‘Hey, sorry, I’m afraid I don’t know what year it is, could you help me out?’

Jesus. She could only imagine what that person’s reaction would be. Actually, depending on who she asked, they might just look at her funny, answer, and go on with their lives.

But still. She’d figure it out by herself.

With a nod to herself, Thea resolved to go to the library and maybe look for yearbooks or something. Did they even have yearbooks at Hogwarts? Who honestly knew.

She sighed. Well, she could figure that out later. Right now, she had to hide the evidence. 

After folding all her clothes and putting them on their shelf, she wedged the book behind one of the piles, and surveyed her bed. 

You couldn’t see the book from any of the angles she checks, so Thea should be safe. At least for now. 

She checked her watch. Shit, it was already 7:42. She’d only unpacked her clothes so far. And she was probably going to be late.

Thea hauled her backpack over her shoulder and rushed out the door, but not before turning back on last time to look at her bed. Her stomach was feeling fuzzy.

_Relax, Thea, you’re fine. Everything is fine._

With that in mind, she headed to the Great Hall. 

_Everything is fine._   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please comment and/or kudos! Comments make my day.  
> Also, I have no planned upload schedule atm. I’m just gonna go with what i feel like.  
> Have a nice day, loves! :)


	2. It was Hers

The walk to the Great Hall was uneventful, except for the fact that Thea tripped on air three times.

(It wasn’t her fault, okay? She was really distracted by all the portraits. The night before she barely paid any attention, she was so tired, so now she got to see them all and smile at them and it was really cool. Also, she was just generally clumsy.)

(Also, also, there was a portrait of a cross between a tiger and an alicorn? That spoke? Why wasn’t Thea informed of this??)

Inside of the Great Hall was organized chaos. 

Each table was full of only their house color, but people were talking loudly or hugging or moving around to see their friends. An apple was thrown down the Ravenclaw table, which narrowly missed someone’s head and landed in a bowl of scrambled eggs. 

It was comforting, the steady stream of sound and action. It was nice to have that reminder that she was actually here.

(Because she was pretty sure she was actually here.(Maybe.(?)))

At the Hufflepuff table, Professor Sprout was calling names, presumably to hand out schedules. 

By some strange luck, Sprout called Thea’s name just as she came up to the table. 

“Ah, there you are, dearie. Madam Pomfrey asked for you to go up to the hospital wing after you eat,” She handed Thea a piece of paper and turned back to the table. Her hat was slightly crooked and her shoulders were high. Ugh, that must be so stressful, having to hand out hundreds of kids’ schedules in just a couple minutes. And in all this noise.

Folding her schedule, not even bothering to look just yet, Thea headed right back outside.

The Hospital Wing was upstairs, right? Thea was pretty sure it was close by. If her memory served her right, it was in some tower on the fourth floor.

What could Madam Pomfrey want? She hadn’t hurt herself in any way (yet), and she couldn’t think of anything she could have done wrong.

Maybe she needed magical vaccinations or something like that. Oh no, please don’t involve needles.

Fuck, how did people do this everyday? She was almost winded after three flights of stairs. And the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws had to go up _four more._ Just to make it to their dorms. 

(Ugh. The audacity of people to make her _climb stairs_.)

The hospital wing’s wooden door was tall, reminiscent of the Great Hall’s, and the wing itself was very tidy, but it didn’t feel like a hospital to Thea.

Hospitals were that insanely clean, overly sanitized smell. (Probably a healthy amount of sanitization, actually, but it felt overwhelming.) They were fluorescent lighting on white tile floor. They were waiting rooms with crappy chairs that made her arms kind of sore if she rested them on the armrests. 

This… was _not_ that.

Sunlight filtered through the windows, ceiling high, lining two of the walls. 

In between each window was a hospital bed, white curtains drawn and complete with side tables and lamps.

On the back wall were two doors, one closed and one cracked, presumably leading to a supply closet and the nurse’s office. (Was it called a nurse’s office here?)

The vibes were pretty chill. It was quiet, but not in a suffocating way. More in a relaxing, napping in the sun kind of way. Which might be a little strange for a hospital area, but it was nice. 

Her footsteps echoed on the stone, and just as she was debating clearing her throat or something, because just standing in there felt awkward, but also if she just waited, she wouldn’t bother anyone, the cracked door flew open.

A young witch in a deep red dress with a white apron type thing and hat paused in the doorway.

Her brown hair was tucked neatly under the hat, and her face was kind but stern. Rather mother henish.

The woman took a single glance at her and turned right back around, disappearing into the room.

Uh, okay?

Seconds later she returned with multiple objects in hand : a long wooden box and three orange pill bottles.

“Miss Greene, correct?” Thea nodded, “Good. Now, you’ll need to come by every morning before breakfast for your medication, alright, dear?”

Ohhhh, that’s what this was for. She gave another nod. (The medication was for depression and anxiety. She had started going to a psychiatrist around when the big depressive episodes happened, and now she had three little pills she had to take every day. One little white circle. One of the long ones with a blue-green stripe. Another long one with two blue-green stripes. She had no clue what they were called, though. Something that sounded funny.)

While she spoke, the woman placed the items on a rolling metal tray Thea hadn’t noticed, which also had a glass of water on it.

The woman quickly got one of each pill, big two, little one, big one, and handed them to her, along with the water.

This was really awkward. Should she make small talk? The woman wasn’t, soooo? I mean, obviously she couldn’t right now, seeing as she was drinking, but should she after? Ahhhh, scaryyyyy.

As soon as she had swallowed the pills, the woman took the glass and placed it back onto the table. 

“Your wand. It arrived just before you did,” She handed the box to Thea.

Ah. That made sense.

Her fingers itched to open it, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Wands were supposed to say something about your personality, right? 

So what would hers say about her?

Apparently she had been staring at the box in her hands for a while, because the woman cut through her thoughts, “Dear, we haven’t got all day, shoo! Off to class!”

She flicked her hands at her, and turned back to her office, bottles and glass in hand.

“Uh- Okay. Thank you, ma’am! Have a nice day!” Thea called after her.

The woman didn’t reply. 

* * *

The Hogwarts bathrooms were surprisingly clean. They reminded Thea of Bucky’s.

(For all you non-southern folks reading this fic, if this was even a fic, Thea was still unsure, Bucky’s was this big chain of gas stations in Texas. She actually wasn’t sure if they were anywhere else. All she knew was that they had notoriously clean bathrooms, and lots and lots of food. And merch. And they sold those signs you find in stereotypical white family homes that said, ‘Live, laugh, love,” or something about house rules and shit.)

Anyways, back to the plot. Thea was currently seated on a closed toilet in the girls bathroom, staring at her wand box, internally debating.

Although it wasn’t much of a debate. It was more just convincing herself to _open the damn box already_ than whether or not to open it. She’d have to no matter what. She kind of needed a wand. Just a little.

Ugh, but it was so scary!

This was her wand. _Her wand._

It mattered. 

Maybe it didn’t have to, but it did. It really fucking did.

It probably didn’t matter as much to anyone else, but to Thea, it was really big. 

Everywhere she looked, she tried to find some way to define herself, to identify herself a little bit more. She wanted to understand what was happening in her brain, to get why she was the way she was, and who she was.

That’s what this boiled down to.

Would this give her a little piece in the puzzle of who she was?

Maybe that puzzle was endless. Actually, it definitely was. 

But maybe this could show a little bit more of the picture.

So why was it so fucking hard to open the fucking box?

Every time she reached to flip the top, it’s gold hinges seemed to wink at her, and she faltered. Her shaking hand clenched, then backed away.

Reach, clench, back away. Reach, clench, back away. Again and again and again until she thought this would go on forever-

The door opened, (thankfully) pulling her out of her spiral. There was another person in the bathroom. 

Footsteps sounded. Oh, fuck. Listening to other people pee or poop was always so awkward for her. Like, it probably didn’t bother anyone else, but she felt weird, so she always liked to go to the bathroom when the whole thing was empty. Just so her brian wouldn’t get the option to be self-conscious. 

Water ran. Silence, then footsteps again, fading this time, taking the closing of the door with them.

Thank god. That would have been mildly uncomfortable. 

But, yes, back to the task at hand. 

What was she thinking about again?

Oh, yeah. Wand. Scary.

Ok.

She should just get it over with, shouldn’t she? She should. She definitely should. Just fucking do it, Thea. Rip off that duck tape, bitch. You got this.

Yeah.

The box was smooth and cool under her fingers, and it opened gracefully.

The wand was on one of those velvet cushion things, a mustard yellow shape, and it took an almost embarrassing amount of strength to just look at it.

The wand. No. Her wand.

 _My wand, my wand, my wand,_ Repeated like a mantra, almost like a prayer in the back of her mind.

It was light but not in her hand. Light in the sense that it didn’t take much to hold it up, but heavy in the way that some TV companies make remotes, to make them feel substantial. 

It was a deep red-brown shade, long, and a bit imperfect. Most wands she had seen were symmetrical or had some sort of pattern that never broke, but this wand felt like organized chaos. 

It didn't have an explicit handle, but the end was slightly curved, and it fit perfectly against her palm. The wood kind of had handmade flute vibes. It was cut in planes, curving and ebbing along the sides. 

It was really simple, but beautiful. 

_My wand, my wand, my wand._

There were little dents and scratches in some places, even a little splatter of what looked like yellow paint. 

This wand was well-loved.

Now that she thought about it, it didn’t really seem like organized chaos, but that was the energy she got from it, for whatever reason. 

She pointed it at the stall door, and Thea felt like a medieval knight, brandishing a sword. 

Even though she didn’t actually know how to do magic, it made her feel _powerful._

The ring of a bell sounded, heavy and low.

Oh, fuck. She had class, didn’t she?

She hadn't even looked at her schedule yet. So, was that the late bell, or the transition bell?

Ugh, she would hate to walk in when class had already started. Her stomach felt fuzzy just thinking about it. All those eyes on her.

Ah. 

You know what, no. She was going to assume that that was the bell saying to start heading to class, and take a minute to check her schedule. Yeah. Fuck off, Anxiety!

The page crinkled when she took it out of her pocket and unfolded it.

The schedule was blocked into 50 minute class periods, with a ten minute passing period.

So, breakfast was from 7 to 9 am, and the first class was 9-9:50, then 10-10:50, and so on until 1 pm. After that, fifth period started at 2pm, and it kept going like that. 

Class ended for the day after 3:50, with 6 class periods a day, but there was also this weird evening period from ‘22:00-23:50’ and it was left blank in her schedule. Maybe that was for detentions or tutoring or something. 

There was also a class from midnight to 1:50 am, which she had every Monday night. Or Tuesday morning.

The classes she was signed up for were Ancient Runes, Study Hall, Divination, DADA, Astronomy, Herbology, Potions, Transfiguration, Charms, HIstory of Magic, and Care of Magical Creatures.

Jesus Christ, that was a long list. Well, it just felt long. It was ten classes, which she had had last year two, though one of them was online. 

And they had a study hall. Thea hadn’t ever had that before.

But, it turned out that she didn’t need to worry about walking into class late, because her first period was a free period. 

Huh. She’d never had one of those, either. 

Maybe it would be a good idea to try to find her classes. Today she had… Herbology, Potions, and Divinaton.

And they didn't have a classroom number or anything next to each class name. Yikes.

Well, she had roughly an hour to find Herbology, and from there she could just ask another student, so, off she went. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii so i don't think anyone is actually reading this lol but i'm having a fun time writing it soooo yeah  
> sorry if there are any errors or anything, i didn't really edit it lol  
> i hope you enjoyed!!!!  
> have a good day, loves <3


	3. The Weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW : mentions of sexual assault  
> read at your own discretion please

It seemed impossible that Thea was dreaming now, because it had been nearly a week of life at Hogwarts.

On her first full day, Tuesday, her classes had been fun. For professors she had Sprout, Slughorn, and Trelawney, all people that she already knew of. Those classes were surprisingly fun, learning about everything from a magical person’s point of view.

Thea also had a free sixth period, which she used to practice spells in an empty classroom. She was lucky she didn’t have any classes that day that required wand work.

At first, she was worried that she wouldn’t be able to do anything, which would have been horrible.

How could she pretend to be a sophomore from Ilvermorny, if she couldn’t even produce a tiny bit of magic. 

But her worries were unwarranted, because she could!

She started with Lumos, and it was the most amazing rush. Like pure warmth filtered through her fingers to her wand. 

then Wingardium Leviosa felt like that, too, but a little different. More like the warmth was rising in her to her wand. 

After she felt good about those, she moved on to every spell she could remember, whether from the books or the movies.

She tore a page in her book and cast Reparo. She put her bag on the other side of the room and cast Accio. 

Aguamenti, Bombarda, Expelliarmus, Alohomora, Arresto Momento, Ascendio.

She practiced all of those, until she felt like she could do them easily. Most of them took a few tries to even do once properly, but she got it. Eventually. 

When she finally left the classroom, she found that dinner was already over, so she ate in the kitchens. 

It kind of made her feel strange to be down there. Well, everything in this place made her feel strange, but this was different.

The house-elves all seemed so...happy. They were unpaid and had no vacation time, but they still seemed like they enjoyed their jobs. They were eager to help.

So was this wrong? Well, yes, it was fucking slavery, but how did someone go about changing that without making them unhappy? When Hermione tried, the house-elves seemed to see that as they wouldn’t have their jobs at all anymore, but maybe if she’d tried to do something about adding on giving them a salary and time off, then it might have worked. 

Oh, well. Not the point.

Anyways, Thea had met this house-elf named Lalli, and she was really sweet. She made her rice and Teriyaki chicken that tasted like actual heaven. 

On Wednesday, she only had Study Hall with Madam Pince and Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall. After her third period, her whole day was free, so, once again, she went to the empty classroom and practiced. She also worked on homework, because, damn, these teachers gave like three hours of it each. 

This time, she missed both lunch and dinner, but she got a snack from Lalli, so it was fine. A grilled cheese sandwich.

Thursday’s class load was a lot heavier. Care of Magical Creatures with Professor Kettleburn, History of Magic with that ghost professor, Binns, Herbology again with Professor Sprout, Charms with Professor Flitwick, a lunch break, and Defence Against the Dark Arts with a new professor named Matthison. Her last period was another free period, so she spent it getting a snack from Lalli - some fries - and headed back to her little classroom.

She worked on homework and practiced until nearly midnight, before returning to her dorm.

Thea tried not to think about it, but even though all of this was really exciting, learning all about the wizarding world and magic - which also proved even more that she wasn’t dreaming, because there was no way she could come up with all this - she was a little sad here.

Not anymore than she was regularly, but she thought that that would have changed.

Back home, in 2020, Thea didn’t have any friends. Well, yes, she had people she talked to in passing, but no real ones, where she could literally talk about anything and it'd be good and she wouldn’t feel like she was being annoying.

She thought that being here, in the new environment with a whole new crowd, she would be able to find one of those. 

But, no. In all her classes, she sat alone, at the back. Everyone near her was slightly turned away, and no one tried to talk to her. She probably should have tried to start a conversation or sit with someone, but everyone seemed to already have their groups and she didn’t want to mess that up.

It was pretty much the same at lunch time. And every night when she got back to the dorm, her roommates were either asleep, getting ready for bed, or talking to each other. It felt like there was no place for her here.

Which, maybe it was a little her fault. She _did_ spend all of her free time in an empty classroom. And on that first day, she felt she had to. Thea knew literally nothing about doing magic. She had to make sure she actually could.

But, everyone's attitude toward her kept her going back. 

On Friday, she tried going down to breakfast, just to have some toast or something, maybe try to talk to someone, but it still felt like no one wanted to interact with her. She sat at the end of the table, alone, like there was a big bubble around her. She felt her body slump, try to get smaller. Why was it embarrassing that she didn’t have any friends?

So, she did the same as the other three days, sat in the back of classes and kept her head down. She had Study hall, Charms, History of Magic, Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, and a free period that day, in that order.

She was back in the empty classroom until maybe two in the morning, trying to finish up her school work. 

It was really hard being thrown back into actually doing things.

Six months ago, she had basically shut down. She didn’t do anything. 

Now, she had a full class load to keep up with. In things she barely understood at all.

Thea did her best, but every assignment took her at least twice as much time as it probably should have. Her brain just decided to take its time, like, _‘Nah, I don’t feel like working right now. Come back later, ho.’_

So here she was, waking up at 11 on Saturday morning, feeling like she hadn’t slept at all.

The dorm was empty, and sunlight streamed in.

She yawned and stretched, her quilt falling off her shoulders where it was tucked. The castle was really cold at night.

She had heard on her first day from Professor Sprout that third through fifth years had assigned Hogsmeade weekends, but sixth and seventh years could go every weekend. The Great Hall had food all throughout the day, and students were given free rein. Meaning no uniform, no schedule, no expectation. Just a break.

And, boy, did she need it. 

Not even thinking about the mental strain of actually having to think (the _audacity_ ), Thea’s sleep has been great the first night, but the rest? Not so much.

The last few days, it had taken her hours to fall asleep. It was like her brain was exhausted, but it was still going. It wouldn’t stop, take a breath, rest for a bit. It was just going and going and going.

To be honest, kind of annoying.

And it might have been her sleep-deprived brain that came up with the idea, but she wanted to go to Hogsmeade. Through the One-Eyed Witch passageway. Even though it made her stomach fluttery, she was kind of excited. 

Thea wasn’t a particularly rebellious person. Not when she thought she could actually get caught. She only took the chance when she knew she had plans so that no one would know.

But there were no plans for this one. Just a list of goals.

Find the passageway, remember the spel, get out of Honeydukes undetected, adn have a fun time. 

That was it.

But she could do this. 

Yeah, it would be easy as pie. 

Thea got dressed quickly, in a yellow Polo sweater that she thrifted for $8, ($8!), fake jean shorts, and some black Converse. She brushed her teeth, tucked the front of her sweater into her shorts, put her hair up in one of those swishy high ponytails, and felt ready for the day.

Not gonna lie, she felt cute. Thea may have even put on a pit of mascara. And blush. She felt really good today. 

And ready to sneak. She was the epitome of a sixth year, she was calm, she was chill, she could do this. She was gonna make this passageway her bitch. She was now Natasha Romanov. Yeah.

With that in mind, she put her wallet in her pocket, pulled her sleeves down over her fingers, and headed out.

If she remembered correctly, the passageway was on the third floor, near where Fluffy was in the Sorcerer’s Stone. And the password was something with a ‘Dis.’ Dissentrium? Dissenderi?

Oh, wait, it was Dissendium! Yeah, that felt right. 

It was relatively easy to find, actually crazy easy. Someone should really make it harder to find. 

She slid down into the passage, which surprised her. Thea forgot that there was a slide, but it was a nice bit of fun to go with the trouble.

The passage was dusty, a bit dank, and long. It took what felt like forever, but was probably only 20 to 30 minutes to walk there.

And the end of the passage was a ladder and a slab of stone covering the hole. 

She listened for at least 30 seconds, but she didn’t hear anything, so she slowly pushed the stone up and forward. 

It was honestly terrifying, trying to find an exit to the Honeydukes storeroom where she wouldn’t be seen. Damn, she wished she had a Cloak. That’d be fucking cool.

There was a door behind her and a staircase in front of her. Thea chose the door, and came out in some back alley. _Shit_ , it was cold.

Her legs were freezing. She didn’t know what the exact temperature was in Fahrenheit or Celsius, but it felt like at least 50 degrees Fahrenheit. Which was a real shock to Thea.

Back home, it was still in the 80s and 90s right about now. 

Definitely not here. Cold, cold, cold. SHe didn’t even think about it before she was speed-walking out of the alley and into the nearest shop. The first thing she noticed about this shop was a sweet, musky smell and a warm sort of vibe. 

Shelves were arranged in aisles, and there was a fireplace crackling by a bunch of mismatched armchairs. 

A cashier stood at a counter right next to the door, a woman with a blonde pixie cut and yellow eyes barely glanced up from a book she was reading, “Welcome to Tomes and Scrolls!” 

“Thank you,” She was breathing heavily, though she didn’t know why.

The store was empty from what she could see, the only sounds the happy crackling of the fire and the cashier flipping a page. 

The energy of the store was really enticing, but she wanted to explore, see what types of shops there were, before she bought anything. 

With a sigh, she let her legs absorb a little bit more of the warmth and stepped outside. 

Hogsmeade was beautiful. It was a little village in the countryside, like Belle's poor provincial town, but it was also vibrant. There was magic everywhere, from the pop of colors on the signs, to the people walking around, blatantly doing magic, laughing, having fun.

The energy was immaculate. Flavor was there. 

Thea decided that the first order of business was to wander the streets, see what shops there were, then figure if she wanted to get anything. Which she definitely would. The main question was what and where, though. 

At first she just looked at storefronts. A Hairdresser, an Ollivander's, Potage's Cauldron Shop, Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop, Zonko's, Hog's Head, Gladrags, Dervish and Banges Magical Instruments and Stuff, J Pippen's Potions, the Three Broomsticks, Dominic Maestro's Music Shop, Hogsmeade Post Office and Town Hall, Dogweed and Deathcap, Spintwitches Sporting Needs.

Dominic Maestro's, Dervish and Banges, and the Three Broomsticks were the ones that caught her eye the most, along with Tomes and Scrolls. 

Before she did anything, she should probably figure out a priority list before she did anything. Maybe she could go back to Tomes and Scrolls, then get lunch at the Three Broomsticks? After that, she could go to Dominic's Maestro and then Dervish and Banges. 

Her stomach rudely interrupted her thoughts by growling.

Well, then, she should probably eat first. 

To the Three Broomsticks!

_If only I had some coconuts right about now._

* * *

The Harry Potter movies captured the vibes almost perfectly. It was basically exactly the same as it was in the movie, other than a different crowd, and the tables were set up differently. 

There was a little table with two seats by a window that she decided to take. It looked out on Main Street.

Thea ended up getting a Butterbeer and a turkey sandwich with chips. Oh no, excuse her, _crisps_.

The Butterbeer was soooo much better than the ones at Universal. They had a sort of butterscotch flavor, but also some sort of warmth to them that could only have been magic. 

It was still hard to get it through Thea's head that there was _magic_. Insane.

She also couldn't understand why she was here. Was there any reason? Was this just for her? Was she in a coma-dream right now?

it didn't make any sense.

This world wasn't even supposed to exist, but now she was apparently here, but also in a different time period.

Was anything the same as the books? The movies? What was canon? Oh no. Was the Cursed Child canon? The thought nearly made her gag.

But really, what was true in this alternate universe? Was pop-culture still the same? Had Dumbledore still defeated Grindelwald? Was Dumbledore still gay?

And why was she backward? Like, Dumbledore was alive right now. Why? 

Was Voldemort alive, too? Was he still going to become a murderer? Was he an orphan right now? Was he at Hogwarts right now?? When was this? 

Suddenly her appetite was gone. This wouldn't be fun anymore if Voldy was here. Well, after the first night it wasn't as fun anyways, but this thought brought it down by at least 22.78%.

Ugh, she should do some research, shouldn't she? Figure out _when_ she was. 

Thea had planned to, but in the craziness of actually being here and actually being able to do magic, it was forgotten. 

That's what she'd do right now. Go to Tomes and Scrolls, look at publication dates for new arrivals, and then go back to the Castle. Okay.

She nodded to herself, then paid and left. 

A little bell jingled as she left, and it seemed to be even colder than before. Ugh, and now she had to walk all the way across Hogsmeade, which admittedly wasn't very far, but her legs were turning kind of red and purple from the cold, like the basic white bitch she was, and she was shivering like crazy. Her teeth were _chattering_.

"Hey, there, pretty girl. Give me a smile?" Someone called from behind her, and she froze.

Oh god. Was this what catcalling felt like? She had never been sexually assaulted in any way before, and one random man was asking her for a smile. What should she do? Keep walking? Ignore him?

You know what, she would keep going, and if he tried something again, she'd bark at him.

Thea heard footsteps behind her and walked faster.

God, she should be barking right now! But it was so much easier to say that she would then to actually do it. It was like she was stuck in her body, watching as it moved of its own accord. 

"Sweetheart, just gimme a smile, would ya?" A hand grabbed her arm.

In that moment, she was once again frozen. All she could think was "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," on repeat.

The hand pulled her around. It was a skinny, medium height white man. And he had her arm in one hand, his wand in the other.

If it was possible, she froze even more. 

He pulled her closer, wrapped his arm around her waist. His breath reeked of alcohol and he leered at her chest.

Her breathing was rapidly quickening, "Sir, please let me go."

God, she felt horrible about asking politely. This man didn't fucking deserve that!

He opened his mouth to reply, showing pearly white teeth, and it took everything in her not to recoil.

But a new voice cut in, "Babe! There you are!"

An arm was slung over her shoulder before she could blink and pulling her away.

"Thank you for finding her for me, sir." This new voice was warm, like melting chocolate. Why her mind made that comparison, she would never know.

And then they were walking away. She was still frozen, basically being dragged along by this stranger, but she got one last glimpse of the original man. He looked so taken back, it was kind of funny.

And then she was laughing. Laughing to the point where she was doubled over, laughing to the point where big, fat tears streamed down her face, and then she was crying.

What made that man believe he could just walk top to someone and feel them up? What made that okay? It was so incredibly sad that society doesn't seem to care. There was a rapist in the Senate, a pedophile in the Senate, and a rapist as the President. Of an entire country. And no one seemed to care.

And maybe this was some small incident that shouldn't matter, she should be fine, but she wasn't. This was a whole new experience for her. An awful, disgusting new experience. 

Thea was vaguely aware of the arms holding her up, but nothing registered until the tears stopped.

She felt like she cried for hours, cried until she was dry.

And all she could think once she stopped, once she could look at the person holding her up, all she could think was 'What a waste of good mascara.'

What a waste of good mascara. That was it. 

She nearly started laughing again.

But there was someone looking at her, watching her, holding her up, and she really felt like she seemed insane right now, so she could laugh-cry about that later.

Turns out it was two someone's.

Thea found herself on a crescent-shaped bench, in a quiet little clearing area. It was empty except for Thea and two redheads sitting on either side of her.

They looked like twins, each with curly, bright red hair, freckles for days and sparkling blue eyes.

(She didn't let herself think for even a second that these were the Weasley's, because that was impossible, and it was the wrong time period, seeing as Dumbledore was younger. And she would have seen other Weasley's by now. Plus, she was pretty sure Fred and George had brown eyes. But her mind still went there.)

Both eyebrows were crinkled in concern, but the one on the right of her had a big freckle on his temple, right at the tip of his eyebrow. His face was more square than the one to the left, who had a rounded kind of face. 

They were both wearing red sweaters, and the one to the left's sweater was stained with... something. 

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry, I-" Her voice broke. She got _snot_ all over this stranger's clothes

"Don't worry about it," He smiled warmly, and his voice was the melting chocolate one from earlier, "Are you okay?"

Thea couldn't hold back a snort, "I just almost got sexually assaulted, of course I'm not okay."

Then she remembered herself, "I'm sorry, I'm - yes, I'm okay - err - I will be." god, why did she say that? That's so dramatic and this was a stranger and what the _fuck_ , Thea?

The one to her right tilted his head and gave her a look, "Yeah, and I'm Merlin," His voice was like honey.

She found herself rolling her eyes, starting to smile, but her lips turned down again soon after. She took a deep breath, "Umm, thank you, for - uh - I'm honestly not sure what happened but, yes. Thank you."

"Don't worry about it," The one to her left repeated, "Just let us walk you back to the Castle." 

He started to get up, and she frowned, eyes widening, "Oh, no, you don't have to do that, it's okay."

"Yeah, it is. Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi no one's reading this but i'm having a fun time  
> also sorry if it's shit, i didn't edit it


	4. Oh Fucking Shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw : sexual assault, anxiety  
> (also just so we're clear, this is not necessarily accurate for everyone!! this is just how the character is experiencing this stuff)

"I can walk on my own, dude," Thea rolled her eyes and pulled her arm away from the redhead to her left, who had it hooked in his.

She stepped away from him, though she had no idea where she was going.

Her legs were so wobbly that her knees buckled.

They hit fallen twigs, and, ouch, that was bound to bruise. 

"You sure about that?" The honey voice asked, coming up on her other side and offering her his hand.

She glared at him and thoroughly examined his hand before taking it.

He was deceptively strong for his size, tall and skinny, and pulled her up with ease.

"I don't even know who you guys are," She narrowed her eyes and looked back and forth between them, as they hooked their arms through hers.

"Fabian," The one of the left said, tipping his fingers on his head. Both of them started to walk forward, practically pulling her along.

"And Gideon," The one on the right mirrored the movement.

"At your service," In unison, they bowed slightly.

Huh, those names felt so familiar. Why? Did she know them from the books?

Nevertheless, she pushed it out of her mind and slipped into her most bougie British accent, "Why, thank you, good sirs, very kind of you."

"Yes, of course, madam," Gideon had changed his accent slightly, to be more pretentious.

"Though, we don't know who we're assisting," Fabian did it, too. He tilted his head slightly to her, a different type of question in his eyes, but she didn't know what it was. (Geez, how melodramatic was she? Thea blamed tumblr.)

"Fae Vert, pleasure to meet you," Thea didn't really know why she introduced herself as Fae. That had been her French name at her school, and she guessed it just felt right.

Also, how had these two random people somehow changed the mood so drastically, over maybe a minute?

It was strange. And a little amazing. These people seemed like ones she should try to stay around, though she didn't know why. That was just the vibe she was getting.

There was a pause, and Thea took the time to look around. 

They were in a forest, the leaves already turning beautiful colors, like fire, but not quite fallen yet. 

The path was just earth, beaten down from countless footsteps. 

There was the smell of petrichor and the careful ambience of a forest full of life. 

"So, what grade are y'all?" Thea asked. What could she say, sometimes she liked silence and sometimes she didn't. this was one of the times when she didn't

"Grade?" Gideon tipped his head, looking vaguely like a puppy.

"Oh, sorry, year."

"Sixth, milady," Fabian answered, giving her an impish smile.

"And you?"

"Not relevant," She dodged as best she could, but from the looks on both of their faces, that just piqued their curiosity.

"Oh?"

"Not relevant, you say?"

"What d'you think, Gid? Third year?" Her nose crinkled involuntarily. She almost held it back. Almost. But she wasn't still fucking 13 years old. Ugh. Like, no offense to 13 year olds, but at 13 Thea was fucking cringey. It was gross to even think abut.

Clout goggles, the Paul brothers. _Minecraft_.

(It wasn't Minecraft that was bad. Minecraft would always slap, but she used to want to be a Minecraft YouTuber. Ew.)

"Hm, I'm thinking more second year, Fay,"

" _No_ ," Slipped out. Oops. Oh well, she might as well say more, "Stop being mean to meeeeee," She whined. 

"Well, Vert, if you don't tell, we'll have to assume that you are in fact a wee second year," Fabian sighed, putting his hand to his heard dramatically.

(When had he gotten his hand back? Thea thought they were holding on to her, but now that she thought about it, they had both stepped away and given her a little space once she got steady enough. She just hadn't noticed.) They both, completely in sync, turned and started walking backwards in front of her.

Crossing her arms, Thea huffed, muttering, "Mean sixth years think they're _so_ cool," She looked down and was surprised to notice that at some point the path had changed to cobblestone.

Her head shot up, eyes darting around. They were out of the forest, and behind them was Hogsmeade. In front of them, stretched a long path, the cobblestone they were walking on. It slopped the whole way, ever so slightly angling up. The end of it seemed to lead to the Clocktower Courtyard.

"Aw, she's so cute when she's pouting," Gideon made it sound like she was a puppy, which, of course made her frown more. Or, according to Gideon, pout. (She wasn't _pouting_ , was she?)

Either way, a slight blush rose to her cheeks, "Shuddup, not cute. I'm mean and scary."

They did not look convinced.

"So, little Puff, what are you doing so far from your den?"

"How do you know I'm a Hufflepuff?" 

"How could you not be?" Fabian countered, raising an eyebrow at her.

"That's discrimination right there, sir," Bitch, no it wasn't. Thea just didn't know what else to say. 

"Oh, my humble apologies, Madame," He held his hand to his heart dramatically.

It made her laugh, the way he said it. So serious in facial expression, yet so theatrical in tone and gesture.

It felt good, she tipped her head back to savor it.

This moment was nice, even though it was with two strangers.

The sun beaming down on her face, chilly autumn air, and happiness. And she wanted to bottle this feeling because she didn't really have it that often.

How had these two, Fabian and Gideon, made her so comfortable around them so quickly? It didn't make sense. If this were a fanfic, the author would probably be trying to make 'organic' relationships that were really fast and forced. 

But it didn't really feel like that. These guys just gave off this energy that said that they could be trusted. Huh. Weird.

Thea shook her head. She could overthink that later. Right now, she needed to get back to her dorm and shower. 

Damn, her eyes felt completely dried out, and she just felt pooped. Why was she so exhausted after maybe an hour of being out?

* * *

Inside the Entrance Hall, as she started going toward the Hufflepuff common room and the twins headed for the Great Hall, Gideon called, "Hey, where are you going?"

She turned slightly, "Common room."

Fabian frowned a little, gesturing to the Hall, full of noise and movement, "It's dinnertime."

That made Thea frown. She had kind of down to dislike the mealtimes in the Hall. She always felt so alone.

She shook her head, "Not hungry."

And now Gideon was frowning, too, but it turned quickly into the impish smile Fabian was wearing before, "Come eat with us, Puff, yeah?"

Would that be so bad? Probably not, though she might still feel alone. But it was maybe an hour. What was the harm? 

She looked at the open door and to the twins. The grin made her eyes narrow, but slowly she nodded, "Okay."

* * *

Dinner was a bit of a blur, to be honest. The twins took her to the Gryffindor table, where they sat with people she didn't remember the names of, and they tried to make conversation with her, but the whole time she was just waiting for it to be over. 

It was weird, but it was like this switch was flipped on her mood and the happy went away, to be replaced with this hollow feeling. It was no fun.

As soon as possible, she got up, thanked them for letting her sit with them, and speed-walked to her dorm. 

Once she got there, she quickly grabbed a change of clothes, her toiletries, and shut herself into one of the shower rooms. 

Oh, god. This day was... _ugh_. 

Thea's back was against the door, and she slid to the floor slowly. It was cold, comforting in a way. 

She felt so shaky right now, like everything was too much, too much, too much.

Oh no, this was the start of a panic attack wasn't it? She was starting to think really fast, and repeat things, and her breathing was getting faster, her shoulders bobbing with each shallow inhale.

Okay, yeah, she needed to do something about that.

Okay, okay. She took a deep breathe and tried to catalog her five senses.

What could she feel? The cold tile on her legs. The warmth in her upper body from her sweater. Ooh, the knitted pattern in said sweater. That was good.

What about see? Well, her eyes were closed, so she could see her eyelids. 

Okay, hear. She could hear running water coming from the main bathroom. The soft thumping of someone walking. Her breathing. Her heart. 

She tried to think about taste, but that got her back to thinking about dinner, which just made her more anxious. Okay, skip that.

What about.. what was the other one again? Touch, taste, hear, see... smell! It was smell. 

Wow, her brain was't happy right now, was it?

Okay, smell? Umm, she could smell... ooh, she opened her shampoo bottle. It smelled like the ocean. Her conditioner smelled like roses, and her body wash smelled clean, but floral? The flavor was cherry blossoms. 

Okay, now how was she? Thea did a body scan.

Her feet were tapping a little bit, and there was the fuzzy feeling in her stomach, but it wasn't as intense as before. Her breathing had calmed down, now lower and slower. Her hands were a little fidgety, wringing each other.

So, overall, still kind of bad, but not horrible. She could work with that.

Sometimes taking a shower helped her calm down, though she didn't know why. Either way she started the water, and it came out warm and comforting. 

So she just showered, probably fro a really long time, but the water was nice. Soothing. 

She almost got raped today. That had been bobbing around in the back of her head since they'd gotten back to the castle, but she hadn't let herself consider it. She almost got _raped_ today.

What the shit. All her life, she had seen so many stories about rape and sexual assault, but it was one of those things that was like, 'Oh, yeah, it happens, but it won't ever happen to me.'

But it did. It did. That was terrifying. 

Why would that man want her anyway? She wasn't sexually attractive. She was fat, with rolls of flats. Her legs had scars everywhere, starbursts on her skin from scabs she used to pick at. Still picked at. Her boobs were kinda big, she guessed, but uneven and veiny and heavy. 

And she wasn't pretty. She had mousy brown hair, pale skin, and she was just bland. She wasn't necessarily ugly, just boring. 

Why would anyone want her? 

Thinking about it, that was probably why she never thought it would happen to her, wasn't it? Wow, she was so self-deprecating that she thought she would never get sexually assaulted. Fucking _nice_ , Thea.

Uh, she wiped her eyes. She should probably do something else, something to get her mind off of this, shouldn't she?

* * *

Thea settled on going to the library. Maybe they would have some good fantasy, or some music, and she really need to figure out _when_ she was, anyways. And she took her notebook and open, because research.

Once she got there, in a t-shirt and pajama shorts, she found it was pretty empty. It didn't really matter to her, though. No matter what, she would still try to find a super secluded corner to read in. 

The found a little table under a window, two big, wingback armchairs on either side of it. It was actually a pretty long table, probably made specifically fro spreading stuff out and studying. It would be perfect. And it was next to magical fungi in the Herbology section. Definitely perfect. 

Where should she look first? Did Hogwarts have yearbooks? 

That would be hilarious, actually. She'd have to find out. Hmm, maybe they had a new arrivals section? Then she could look at publication dates.

* * *

They didn't have either. So, she decided to just get some wizarding history books, see if anything was different. Also, she may have grabbed some YA. Or, the wizarding equivalent of YA.

When she got back to her table, her pile of like seven books made a big thunk sound, and she got to reading. 

At one point, she didn't know how long it was after she started reading, when her eyes felt like they were going numb from this boring-ass history textbook, she realized she wasn't't really retaining any of the information.

She literally couldn't remember the sentence she had just read.

So, to give her eyes a break, she started writing everything she knew in her notebook.

Okay, so it was before 1991, when Harry Potter took place, but it was after.. when?

Ooh, she should check if the Grindelwald thing had happened yet. She was pretty sure it had, but she should check. Just to be safe. And that would be a good plan to start. She wrote, 'Grindelwald???'

OKay, what else?

There were a lot of the same professors here, but some different ones too.

Professors Sprout, McGonagall, Flitwick, and Dumbledore were all the same. 

Was Slughorn the same, too? This was before he retired, she was sure, so he was the same, too, right? 

Matthison was new, but he was DADA, so that wasn't very surprising. Then there was Kettleburn, who she vaguely recognized the name of, and who else?

Trelawney, but wasn't her mom the Divination professor before her? She would have to check that-

"D'you mind if I sit?"

Jesus Christ, that made her jump like an inch. Oh, shit, she thought, flipping her notebook shut quickly.

In front of the table was a boy, looking about her age, with fluffy, sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. Scars were all over his face, little and big, and she couldn't tell if they were anywhere else because he was in a flumpy grey cardigan. 

"UH-What? Oh, sure, er-no-," Wow, could she not speak? Just because he was cute didn't mean she needed to lose her brain. She took a breathe and sighed, "I don't mind if you sit here."

His lips twitched, like he was trying not to smile. He held out his hadn't as he put his bag down, "Thanks, I'm Remus."

 _Oh fucking shit._

"Thea. It's nice to meet you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii, sorry this ones a bit short. it felt like the right place to stop lol  
> lmk what you think!!! also, are shorter or longer chapters better? personally i enjoy the people post longer ones, but it'd be good to know  
> i hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!!!!  
> love y'all  
> oh also its probably shit again, i didn't edit lol


	5. Yee Yee

Remus didn’t know why he sat down with this mystery girl. Maybe it was because he had no clue who she was.

She was seated at a table in front of a window overlooking the Black Lake, right in his usual spot.

He hadn't ever seen her before, besides in class a few times, when he had noticed the Hufflepuff he didn't recognize. But before, all he saw was a short brunette girl. 

Now, he noticed the light dusting of freckles across the bridge of her nose that was barely there, the pop of green in her hazel eyes, the gentle curl of her long hair.

Her cheeks were full, rounded in a sort of fluffy way, and her lips were heart shaped, curving up slightly. 

She seemed rather focused, pen tapping her lip, eyes darting across a page. 

Normally he would have left and found another place, but something about her intrigued him.

And this was the best spot to stay after hours and not get caught.

“D’you mind if I sit?”

She jumped and looked up at him with wide eyes. It didn’t escape his notice that she quickly shut her book.

“Uh-What? Oh, sure, er- no-” She tried to say, then shook her head and sighed, “I don’t mind if you sit here.”

A smile tugged at his lips, “Thanks. I’m Remus,” He held out his hand as he put his bag on the table.

“Thea. It’s nice to meet you,” She smiled, and shook it. 

“Nice to meet you, too.”

She looked back down to the table, but opened a new book, instead of the book she was reading. Huh.

Neither of them spoke after that, and they got to work. 

Remus tried to focus, he was working on a potions essay, but his thoughts kept circling back to the girl across from him, for no explicable reason.

Why was she here? Was she hiding something? She had closed her book pretty quickly when she realized he was there, which he now saw was a sort of journal. And she stopped writing in it when he got here. 

Ugh, what did it matter? He'd probably never know this person, and they probably weren't doing anything interesting, anyway. 

Right now, he just needed to write about the side-effects of a poorly brewed Draught of Peace. Then he could research a prank James wanted to do. Something with green slime? He honestly didn't know.

"Hey, sorry, do you mind helping em out with the potions homework? I don't really get the theory," Thea asked, biting her lip.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

Potions was one of the more difficult classes fro him, but Remus did his best to explain how each ingredient affected the potion. 

They talked about it for almost an hour, after which Thea collected her things, “Thank you fro the help. It was nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too.”

With that, she disappeared around a bookshelf with a swish of her hair. 

* * *

Thea just met Remus Lupin. Thea just met Remus Lupin. _Thea_ just met _Remus Lupin._

More than that, Thea just talked with him for an hour about potions and joked and it was nice.

What the fuck????

Mental key smash, man.

Thea didn't pay attention to where she was going, just let her legs carry her away.

He was _not_ what she imagined. He had sandy blonde hair, scars, and blue eyes, but that was just the surface level stuff. She had done her best not to stare creepily at him, so she didn't know what the differences were, but something was really different. 

_He_ was different.

All her life, or at least for as long as she could remember, this man, well, now teenager, had been a fixture in it. She felt like she already knew him, but he was a _person_ here. Not just a character in a book series.

Fucking damn, dude. What was her life???

Well, either way, now she sort of knew when she was. The 1970's. Okay.

Woah, this was the rise of Voldemort, wasn't it? Was this the purpose of her being here? To do something about that?

Kinda scary, kinda scary, okay. 

Well, what should she do now? Thea wasn't going to pretend she hadn't read a bunch of time-travel Marauders era fanfics, about fixing the past, but the protagonist almost always went to Dumbledore for help. 

Should she do that? Should she try to fix this by herself?

There probably wasn't a lot she could do, but...

To be completely honest, she didn't trust Dumbledore. He was a manipulative little bitch boy. And yes, he was trying to do the right thing, but in twisted ways. Who raises a child just for them to die so young?

Dumbeldore.

Also, didn't everyone though? Maybe not so young, but everyone was raised so they could live long enough to be happy, and die happy, too, right?

Well, not everyone. 

Ugh, she was getting so introspective right now. She just needed to make a plan.

A _plan_ , Thea. 

Okay, okay, she was going to do this by herself, because Dumbly sucks, but what should she do first?

The things she had most control over right now felt like the basilisk and the diadem. 

Basilisk or diadem, then? Basilisk, she thought, because then she could destroy the diadem once she found it. Or should she hold on to it, so she could destroy them all at once?

That was probably the better plan, so Moldy-shorts wouldn't know while she was in the process of finding them all. 

Okay, so right now, she needed to figure out the exact year, probably '74-'76 range, and she needed to research how to kill a basilisk. 

She kind of hated that she had to kill it, but it was a danger to everyone, right? So she _had_ to.

Something wet nudged her hand, effectively scaring the fucking shit out of her.

"What the-" A dog had nudged her hand. A big, shaggy black dog.

It backed away after bumping her, sitting and panting happily.

(If her brain was working properly, which apparently the shock had scrambled it, she would think this was a certain Marauder, but, of course, scrambled brain equals negative 5 brain cells.)

"Hello, there," She blinked at the dog. The dog blinked at her. 

Thea held out her palm cautiously, because dog bites suck, and it stopped panting and leaned forward. 

After a few seconds, it got up and ran around her in a circle. 

"What's a pretty boy like you doing in a pace like this?" A place like this being the Dark Forest, where she had apparently walked when she was lost in thought. And she didn't mean to assume his gender, he just gave he energy to Thea.

"Ew, no, I'm _so_ sorry. I sound like an old white man trying to pick up a twenty year old at a bar."

The dog let out a bark that sounded almost suspiciously like a laugh, but again, scrambled brain equals negative five brain cells, which equals no common sense. 

He rubbed against her thigh, nearly knocking her over. 

Thea just decided to take the hint and sit down. Almost immediately, the dog plopped next to her, on his back, his head in her lap. 

"Oh, I see, okay," She started to rub his belly and chest.

He didn't have a collar, so maybe he just lived in the forest? 

"I'm gonna call you Snuffles," She was really out here thinking it was funny because of 'another' big black dog she knew of. (How clueless could she get?)

Snuffles let out a deep, rumbly moan that she could feel in her fingers, whether to say he was loving the scratches or because he was cool with the name, she would probably never know. 

Their surroundings were purely forest, and she had no clue which direction she came from, "You wouldn't happen to know how to the back to the castle, would you?"

* * *

The next day, Sunday, Thea went to the same table in the library, and went to find a book about magical beasts. 

She saw a lot of them, but the one she ended up grabbing was Fantastic Beasts and Where to find them.

Thea wondered if it was any different from the one JK Rowling published. I mean, definitely, it was a lot thicker, but she wondered what the differences would be.

When she got back to the table, Remus was there again, nose deep in a book. 

She did her best to sit down quietly, she didn't want to disturb him, and he didn't look up.

So, Thea opened her book and looked for the 'B' section.

The basilisk was the first creature listed under 'B'.

XXXXX M.O.M. Classification, known as the king of Serpents, the four paragraphs were mostly things she already knew.

A few sentences at the end of the passage were exactly what she was looking for, though.

'According to some legends, basilisks can be killed by hearing the crow of a rooster or gazing at itself through a mirror. The latter method of killing the beast is featured in the legend of the basilisk of Warsaw, killed by a man carrying a set of mirrors.'

Okay, so did that mean that she just needed to take a mirror into the Chamber, and the basilisk would die? Also, side thought, what was their name? Did Salazar ever name them? That would be interesting to know.

She shouldn't think about that though, that made her feel worse about having to kill it. 

Thea sighed and rubbed her eyes, closing the book. God, she was really doing this, wasn't she? 

"Have you always gone to Hogwarts?" Remus asked, his voice quiet and soft. She looked up to find him leaning back, watching her with a pensive expression. 

"Uh, no, I transferred here from Ilvermorny this year." 

He nodded, "What was it like?"

Oh shit, "Um, it was kind of the same, but also really different. I honestly don't know how to explain it. They just have different vibes, you know?"

He smiled, "Yeah, I think I know what you mean."

There was a pause. Should she try to start a conversation? She wanted to, but...

You know what, fuck it, "What house are you?" Her anxiety might be freaking out right now, but she wanted to talk to him, so she would. 

"Gryffindor. You?" He asked, head tilting slightly. They both were already aware that they were the same year, after last night.

"Hufflepuff." She nodded, for whatever reason. 

"How have you been liking it so far?"

"Uh, it's nice. The weather is, oh my god, it's amazing, and y'all's food is really weird, but it's nice."

"Uh, no, American food is weird."

"Oh, and have you had American food?" She raised an eyebrow at him, lips titling up. 

"Well, no, but it seems very strange." She gasped dramatically, falling back into her chair.

"Oh no, this is a _travesty_." She checked her watch. It was around 11:30, "Are you hungry right now?" What the fuck was she doing?

He opened his mouth and paused, "Yeah, I could eat."

She smiled, "Okay, let me put my book away, but then do you wanna head to the kitchens? It's okay if not, though."

He smiled, too, "Yeah, that'd be nice."

* * *

"Hi, Lalli!"

A little house-elf with big brown eyes scampered up, "Good morning, Thea! How can Lalli serve yous today?"

She was kind of proud of herself, that she got Lalli to stop calling her 'Miss.' Lalli was sweet.

"Um, do you think you could make some American food? it's okay if not, we were just wondering,-"

"Oh, yes, Lalli can make anything yous is wishing for."

"Okay, great, thank you! Do you think you could make some mac and cheese, please?"

"Yes, Lalli will have it for yous in a jiffy," Lalli smiled at them, snapped her fingers, and Disapparated. 

On the walk to the kitchen, it wasn't awkward, the conversation just kind of flowed, but now she didn't know what to say. They already talked about all their classes and professors on the walk, so now what? Thea was seriously rethinking her decisions when-

"So, where in America are you from?" Remus was sitting across from her at one of the Great Hall tables, and if she remembered correctly it was Gryffindor's.

"Oh, I'm from Texas. Yee yee." She pumped her fist a bit on the yee yee's.

And Remus just burst out laughing. It started out small, but quickly turned into full-out, doubled over laughing. Which in turn made Thea laugh, "Wow, okay, we're out here judging the yee yee. I see how it is."

His laugh was nice, deep, yet somehow not low or rumbly. 

Thea shook her head, "I'm honestly offended on behalf of all of Texas, um, I'll just eat my mac and cheese by myself then-"

"No, no, no, I'm sorry, I-" He was still laughing, "That was hilarious. Is that a thing that people actually say in Texas?"

She scoffed, looking at Remus disbelievingly, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes, "Are you suggesting that it isn't a normal thing to say, _sir_?"

Hie opened his mouth-

And was saved from having to answer by Lalli, who popped into existence in front of them with their mac and cheese.

They thanked Lalli and turned back to each other.

Wow, his eyes were so blue, it was actually insane.

"Are you ready," She said dramatically, wiggling her hands to match, "For your life to be changed...forever?'

Remus nodded, looking like he was trying not to laugh again.

"Alright, let's do it," and each took a bite of their won.

The mac was in one of those soufflé bowl things, a buttery yellow, and fucking amazing.

It was creamy, but not too liquidy, cheesy, but not overpowering.

She was pretty sure she actually moaned. Like, pornographically.

"Okay, I concede, this is delicious," 

"Thank you. 'Tis the best."

They ate in silence the rest of the time, but it wasn't awkward. It was a good quiet.

And Thea took the opportunity to look at him. Really look.

He was tall and lanky, maybe 6'0"? He towered over her. His hair, she already saw was fluffy, and sandy blonde. But now she saw that it was cut short on the sides and back. Also, she never understood the vague descriptions of hair. Thea felt like hair was a big part of someone's physical appearance. their vibes, if you will.

His eyes, again, crazy blue, and deep. Not to be cliche, but kind of like pools. And his eyelashes were really long.

Remus, today, was wearing a cardigan again, this time an earthy green. 

There were scars everywhere that she could see, his hands, his neck, his face. One stretched across his nose. Honestly, it made him look badass, but somehow also gentle. 

And his hands were big, fingers long. Kind of disproportionate to his skinny forearm. 

Oh, another thing, he was really skinny all over. Maybe that was implied with the word lanky, and Thea had always read that he was kind of sickly, but she hadn't expected it to be... this. He was like a stick boy. 

Also, he kind of seemed to hide. Not enough to be particularly noticeable, but he was always, or at least for the whole time they had talked, been hunched over slightly, hands in his pockets. Like he was trying to be smaller. 

At some point another conversation started about other American foods, and Thea realized that she was having fun.

This might be the first time she was genuinely happy, with no emotional whiplash, her entire time here.

* * *

Thea went on another walk before curfew Sunday night, this time intentional, partially just to look for that dog again. Like, _oh my god_ , he was absolutely adorable. Who gave him the right? 

She had just barely entered the treeline when he came running to her again. 

She laughed as he jumped on her, "Hey, Snuffles," Petting him lovingly.

He ran away from her, then came back, and went off again, toward the Black Lake.

Okay, so he wants her to follow him? She could do that.

Several times, he got a bit ahead of her and ran back, only to circle her and run forward again. It was so cute, how excited he seemed.

They eventually ended up on the shore of the lake, under a beech tree. 

It was beautiful. The sun was just barely starting to set, and the water lapped gently. 

Snuffles was curled up in the grass, and Thea sat net to him. He adjusted himself accordingly, and she scratched his back for a second, before puling out her wand and a little box from her pocket.

He made an indignant whine.

"I'm sorry, dude, but I had plans coming out here."

Inside the box was four pairs of earrings on cardboard and two tiny instruments. 

Those tiny instruments were a guitar and a ukulele. 

"Engorgio," She whispered, and the guitar grew to its full size in her hand. 

Thea hadn't gotten to practice in almost a week, and she was itching to make music again. 

The guitar was a little out of tune, and Thea did her best to tune it by ear, but she definitely didn't have perfect pitch. Oh well.

Her fingers slid across the frets, almost with reverence. 

Her fingers found E minor first. 

And then she was playing a song. 

"Black flies on the windowsill, that we are, that we are, that we are to know," E minor, C major. 

"Winter stole summer's thrill, and the river's cracked and cold.

"See the sky is no man's land, a darkened plume to stay,

"Hope here needs a humble hand, not the fox found in your place."

This song had such a beautifully melancholy melody. She could sing it all day.

"And no man is an island. Oh this I know,

"But can't you see, oh? Maybe you were the ocean, when I was just a stone."

'Stone' caught in her throat. For whatever reason, that chorus always made her cry.

"Black flies on the windowsill, that we are, that we are, that we are to hold.

"Comfort came against my will, and every story must grow old.

"Still I'll be a traveler, a gypsy's reins to face.

"But the road is wearier, with that fool found in your place."

She closed her eyes, "And I don't wanna beg your pardon, and i don't wanna ask you why.

"But if I was to go my own way, would I have to pass you by? 

"And I don't wanna beg your pardon, and I don't wanna ask you why.

"But if i was to go my won way, would I have to pass you by?"

She strummed the last chord.

"Would I have to pass you by?"

It was quiet for a beat, but the silence was broken by Snuffles, who barked.

She opened her eyes to find him watching her, head resting on his front paws.

Thea hesitated. She wanted to play more, but she didn't want to bother Snuffles. Was this even bothering him?

He barked again, as if to say, "Go on."

Her lips titled up a bit, "Okay."

She took a deep breath, "I wanna be alone,"

A minor, C major, F major,

"Alone with you, does that make sense?

"I wanna steal your soul,

And hide you in my treasure chest."

And she played for what was probably only fifteen minutes or so, but it felt like forever. It was amazing, to get out her feelings like that.

She cried in almost every song she played, When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars, Let's See What the Night Can Do by Jason Mraz, Hearts Don't Break Around Here by Ed Sheeran.

All of those songs were so fun to sing and play, just so satisfying, in a way.

Hostage was such a cool commentary of possessiveness in relationships, but in a way that felt really genuine. it probably was.

When I Was Your Man always made her cry. And the chord progression was so fun.

When she played the last chord of Hearts DOn't Break Around Here, Snuffles came up to her and licked her tears off of her cheeks. It was sweet, even if a tad gross.

On the way back to the castle, her cheeks were that sort of warm but soft feeling that happens after you cry a lot. Snuffles walked her back to the castle again, and, just as the night before, ran off into the forest once they got to the main door.

* * *

"Have you seen Nicole Berkley this year?"

"Yeah, she got fit. I think she has a boyfriend, though."

"Okay. Oh, what about Martha Babbish?"

Ugh, could these sexist little bitch babies talk a little quieter?

"Nah, she doesn't have any tits."

Misogynistic fucks. 

"Okay, well, what about that new Hufflepuff? Ugh, what was her name-"

"Tessa, maybe? I dunno, but-"

That one had Thea pivoting right on the spot, to face two boys, one with light blonde hair, cut really short, and pale blue eyes, and another with shoulder length black hair and piercing grey eyes.

"Hi, sorry, I don't mean to interrupt your - riveting, truly - conversation, but, just, would you maybe, um, mind not objectifying anyone? Because they're-these are _people_ that you're talking about, umm, and also, maybe...sort out your own problems, whether they be physical or-emotional, before you criticize somebody that you don't even know? That would be lovely. Thank you, have a nice night."

She didn't even take a second to register their reaction, just pivoted and walked away, toward the library. It was now Friday, and she and Remus had been meeting there, unintentionally at first, to study every night since Sunday.

God, what made anyone think they had the right to talk about someone like that?

What the actual fuck???

Oh, she was fucking pissed off. 

"You alright there, Thea?" Remus asked when she sank down into the wingback chair slowly, putting her bag on the table much more gently than was strictly necessary.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you, though," She sighed, "I'm going to get a book."

Thea got up and left before Remus could say anything, and she tried to pretend that she didn't see his mouth open.

She wandered the shelves for a bit, not really sure what she was looking for. Maybe she could look for some music. But she didn't even know where to start.

After asking Madam Pince, which only made her anxiety a little mad, she learned that they had a small music section on the other side of the library, for some reason near the restricted section. 

Thea ended up picking a book of Italian solos. Italian was always fun to sing.

On her way back, she also picked up a book about wand cores. Just for kicks.

Just a few shelves away, she could hear voices talking quietly. Huh. Who was it? Hopefully someone nice.

"You're joking me right now."

The same boys from before, in the hall, were talking with Remus. Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, she now realized. Sirius was slung across her chair, lounging, feet on her bag.

When she spoke, all three boys turned to look at her. 

"You know this bird, Moony?" Sirius asked, taking a second to exaggeratedly look her upon and down. Ew, could he maybe not do that?

Remus opened his mouth to respond, but Thea beat him to it, "I actually am going to head out. We're allowed to check out books, right, Remus?"

She pulled her bag out from under Sirius' feet, and they hit the table with a thud as Remus responded, "Yeah, but you don't have to go, Thee-"

"It's cool, dude. I'll catch you later, okay?"

He sighed, "Okay, see you."

She was already walking away, but she flung him a peace sign and left.

Thea wasn't leaving because of what they, Peter and Sirius, had said before. She was leaving because they were _Peter and Sirius_. 

Oh my god, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. In the span of a week, she had met all three. What was her life at this point?

* * *

"Sirius, what did you do." It wasn't even a question for Remus anymore. Just a tired phrase, that he tended to repeat often.

"Who's to say I did anything?" He just raised unimpressed eyebrows at Sirius.

"Okay, okay, I don't know. Peter and I were walking, and she just said something to us and walked away."

Oh, no, what did he say? No, what did _Thea_ say?

"D'you think you can recall the conversation?"

"Well, of course, my dear Moony. We were discussing girls, and she said something about our opinions, and that was it."

Remus sighed. Of course, Sirius was an idiot for some so smooth.

"I better go after her," For damage control, was what he didn't say.

Sirius put his feet down, sitting up with furrowed brows, "Why?" He tilted his head like a puppy.

"Because you're an idiot."

* * *

"Thea! Wait," Remus called from behind her. Damn, she didn't even have time to process this information. How rude.

"Hey, Remus, I actually have something-"

"I'm sorry about Sirius, he can be very - _him_ \- sometimes."

"I mean, I would hope he was him all the time,"

"Shut up," He rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean."

She laughed,"Well, thank you for the apology, but I actually do have to do something."

"You sure? I can ask them to leave if you'd like," He pointed over his shoulder, toward the library.

"Remus, I appreciate it, but I legit need to go do something right now. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see you."

* * *

That something that Thea needed to do? It was killing a basilisk.

Maybe that was a rash decision, but she had a lot of angry energy she needed to release, and it would probably be easier to kill another living creature now.

Currently, Thea was in Myrtle's bathroom. She wasn't there, probably in the Prefects' bathroom or something.

Thea had found the sink easily, but she was having trouble getting the words out. 

She knew what they were, and she knew how to say them, but this felt like a turning point.

What if her little handheld mirror wasn't't enough? It was maybe 6' by 6'. What if the basilisk killed her? Would anyone notice? Probably not. 

God, she just needed to do this, and then she could get all overthink-y later. _Now was not the time, Thea._

She took a deep breath and whispered, "Slifai."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how i imagine sirius as a dog :  
> https://pin.it/2b4QCt2  
> https://pin.it/7fP0VYr  
> https://pin.it/55bOfWW  
> https://pin.it/QRbx0gH  
> https://pin.it/2VTWzBY  
> 'slifai' is 'leave' in parseltongue  
> hope you enjoyed! please lmk what y'all thought  
> okie byeee  
> take a yee yee for the road  
> also, last thing i promise, but today is sirius' birthday!!!


	6. Slifai

Sirius loved to run. Running was his refuge.

The wind in his fur, all the different scents and sounds of the forest flying by.

Whenever he needed to think, or whenever he just felt like it, he would go on a run in the Forbidden Forest. There was something about it that just made him feel better.

His mother had sent him a letter this morning. Something about behaving this year and his filthy friends. That didn't bother him so much. or at least, it shouldn't.

What did bother him though was the signature. 'Walburga Black'

That was it. No 'Sincerely', no 'Mum'. No term that could even resemble endearment.

Which, again, shouldn't matter. Sirius' family was a group of disgusting wankers, but...

Usually there was at least a 'Sincerely.' No, there was always a 'Sincerely'. 

Was his family so amazed that they couldn't even exchange pleasantries anymore? You know what, definitely. Sirius spent the summer locked in his room fro days on end, and now that he was at Hogwarts, he should be happy. He was. He was with his best mates, the most brilliant people he had met in his entire life, his true family. 

A new scent caught his nose. By now, although he'd only done this for a week or so, he was at least familiarized with the different types of scents in the forest, but this one was wholly foreign.

It was a girl. 

She smelled strange, like something savory that he couldn't name, with the smallest hints of metal and paper. 

This girl was walking with her head down, wringing her hands. She didn't seem to notice him, or the tree about two meters in front of her.

He ran forward to bump her hand with his nose, and she seemed frightened. 

She jumped, let out little squeak, and her hands flew to her mouth, "What the-"

An American. Interesting.

The girl didn't seemed shocked to see him at all, once she saw that it was just him. Were there other dogs roaming the forest that he wasn't aware of?

She smelled nice, though, like... he didn't know, like something safe. 

"Hello, there," She blinked at him. He blinked back. 

The girl held out her hand slowly, and he moved forward to sniff. 

He still couldn't name that savory scent, but her fingertips smelled like metal, and that whiff of safety was stronger now.

Hm, maybe it was something she was carrying? 

He circled her, party to check for pockets, and partially because she was kind of hot. But in a cute way?

He wasn't really sure. 

She was in a coral coloured sweater, that looked like she was swimming in it, and black shorts. She was the first girl Sirius had seen wear shorts that, well, short. 

Maybe that was an American thing? If so, he definitely wanted to visit America. 

"What's a pretty boy like you doing in a place like this?" Sirius did his best not to preen at the praise, but his hair would always be his pride, and that sounded like a hair compliment. And he noticed that her accent was slightly.. Southern? He wasn't sure. American accents weren't really his area of expertise. 

"Ew, no, I'm _so_ sorry. I sound like an old white man trying to pick up a twenty year old at a bar."

He laughed. Well, as much as he could as Padfoot. Who thinks like that?

But she seemed trustworthy, or as trustworthy as a stranger in the woods could be, so he went up to her to push against her thigh, just to see what she would do.

She sat, and Sirius put his head in her lap, lying on his back. 

And she did the most wonderful thing, "Oh, I see, okay."

She started to give him belly rubs. No one had ever given him belly rubs before. But now he understood why dogs got so excited about it. It was _heaven_. She started rubbing his upper chest, between his front arms, and he groaned. He definitely got it now.

Vaguely, he registered that she said something about 'Snuffles', whatever that meant, but he honestly couldn't care less. 

Was this what dogs got to do all day? Lie around and be pet? That sounded truly amazing.

But, sadly, she stopped eventually,"You wouldn't happen to know how to get back to the castle, would you?"

He panted happily and stood, shaking off the leaves and dirt, and started trotting in the direction of the castle.

* * *

The next night, Sunday, Sirius went into the forest again.

He told himself it was for a run, but really, it was just to see that girl again. She had successfully piqued his interest.

It would seem that he had piqued hers, too.

Sirius had been running for maybe five minutes, and she walked into the forest.

She laughed, "Hey, Snuffles," Snuffles? But she started scratching him, and he didn't care. 

Ooh, that felt amazing. But he wanted belly rubs again, so he started trying to find a good spot. hmm, maybe the beech tree on the shore?

That'd be nice. 

He sat and turned, exposing part of his belly, and she scratched his back. Excuse me, that was not what he wanted.

Oh, but it felt good.

She stopped all too soon and pulled something out of her pocket, along with her wand.

An indignant sort of sound came out of him, without permission.

"I'm sorry, dude, but I had plans coming out here."

What, so she wasn't here just for him? How rude.

In her hand was a little black box. She opened it, but he couldn't tell what was inside.

From the box, she pulled a tiny object, and whispered, "Engorgio."

The object grew, and it was guitar. 

Did she play? Interesting.

it wasn't quite in tune, but she tuned it and her fingertips slid over the metal strings.

Ahh, so that's what the metal scent came from.

She started playing and singing, this sort of sad melody, and her voice was like an angel's.

"Black flies on the windowsill, that we are, that we are, that we are to know.

"Winter stole summer's thrill, and the river's cracked and cold.

"See the sky is no man's land, a darkened plume to stay.

"Hope here needs a humble hand, not a fox found in your place.

"And no man is an island, oh this I know, 

"But can't you see, oh? Maybe you were the ocean, when I was just a stone."

Her voice broke on the last word.

"Black flies on the windowsill, that we are, that we are, that we are to hold. 

"Comfort came against my will, and every story must grow old.

"Still I'll be a traveler, a gypsy's reins to face.

"But the road is wearier, with that fool found in your place.

She closed her eyes, "And I don't wanna beg your pardon, and I don't wanna ask you why.

"But if I was to go my own way, would I have to pass you by? 

"And I don't wanna beg your pardon, and I don't wanna ask you why.

"But if i was to go my own way, would I have to pass you by?"

She strummed the last chord.

"Would I have to pass you by?"

She was silent fro a moment, and he barked. He wanted to hear more. Her voice was so beautiful, soothing. Sirius hadn't even noticed, but he had shifted while she was singing to lay on his belly and rest his head on his front paws. He felt.. oddly content, and calm.

She seemed to pause, and he barked again, to encourage her, if she wanted to sing more. 

She smiled a bit, "Okay."

"I wanna be alone,

"Alone with your, does that make sense?

"I wanna steal your soul,

"And hide you in my treasure chest."

She continued on for a while, singing several different songs, all of which he didn't recognize. 

"I hope he buys you flowers, 

"I hope he holds your hand,

"Gives you all his hours, while he has the chance,

"Take you to every party cuz all you wanted to do was dance,

"Now my baby's dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

"Now my baby's dancing, but she's dancing with another man."

She cried. It made Sirius want... He didn't know what he wanted to do, but something to make her feel better. 

"Let's drive out to the desert at midnight, 

"To dance in the dust of our headlights,

"And score some good seats for the sunrise,

"Dressed up in clothes we don't mind getting messed up,

"Where no one will know how to get us,

"We don't need a map, we'll just drive, drive, drive, I,

"Wanna get lost with you, and hide out,

"Out under the light of the moon, 

"I wanna get lost with you, and see what it's like,

"To spend the whole night with you, just you,"

"We can head north, over the oceans of turquoise,

"Where after a while they'll be no noise,

"Except for the sound of our heartbeats beating on,

"We'll stand in a canyon alone, singing our favorite songs,

"And wait for the words to return in the echo, echo, echo, echo, echo,

"I wanna get lost with you, and hide out, out under the light of the moon,

"I wanna et lost with you, and see what it's like,

"To spend the whole night with you, just you.

"With you, just you.

"And I, 

"Wanna get lost,"

"Let's see what the night can do, let's see what the night can do, let's see what the night can do,

"I wanna get lost,

"Let's see what the night can do, let's see what our hearts wanna do,

"I wanna know what it's like, to spend the whole night with you, just you,

"With you, just you,

"With you, just you."

The girl sat in silence for a moment, then continued on with a soft smile on her face,

"She is the sweetest thing that I know,

"You should see the way she holds me when the lights go low,

"Shakes my soul like a pothole every time.

"Took my heart upon a one-way trip,

"Guess she went wandering off with it,

"But unlike most women I know, this one will bring it back home,

"Daisies, daisies, laid upon your bedspread oh my baby, lately I know,

"That every night, I'll kiss you, you'll say in my ear, oh we're in love aren't we?

"Hands in your hair, fingers and thumbs, baby,

"I feel safe when you're holding me near, love the way that you conquer your ear,

"You know hearts don't break around here, oh yeah yeah yeah."

By the end of that one, tears were streaming down her face, but she was still smiling and singing.

Sirius found himself walking up to her and licking the tears away, just to try to comfort her in some way.

They walked back to the castle together again, and then he went running through the forest, thinking about a certain brunette.

* * *

It had been nearly a week since the girl had gone out to the forest.

Thea, that was her name.

For some odd reason, a part of him missed her, although they had only met twice. And she thought he was just a dog.

But there was something about her, that just stuck with him, made him want to know her. 

Sirius and Peter were heading to the library, looking fro Remus, because James was in detention nd they were bored, when he noticed Thea walking in front of them. 

"Have you seen Nicole Berkley this year?" They were trying to find a girl Peter could ask to Hogsmeade next weekend.

"Yeah, she got fit. I think she has a boyfriend, though."

"Okay," Sirius paused, "Oh, what about Martha Babbish?"

"Nah, she hasn't got any tits."

"Okay, well what about that new Hufflepuff? Ugh, what was her name-" He knew exactly what her name was, and he felt odd about bringing her up fro Peter to go in a date with, but she was just floating in his brain, like she was waiting for him.

"Tessa, maybe? I dunno, but-"

Thea had been walking at least a few meters in front of them, but she turned around and stepped toward them, a smile on her face but an annoyed look in her eyes, "Hi, sorry, I don't mean to interrupt your - riveting, truly - conversation, but, just, would you maybe, um, mind not objectifying anyone? Because they're-these are people that you're talking about, umm, and also, maybe...sort out your own problems, whether they be physical or-emotional, before you criticize somebody that you don't even know? That would be lovely. Thank you, have a nice night."

Woah. Sirius jaw dropped. That was kind of hot, he couldn't lie.

"But..." Peter continued, but he and Sirius were just staring after the girl. 

"I don't think she'd say yes to you, mate,' Sirius clapped him on the shoulder and continued walking.

* * *

In the library, Remus was in his usual little window seat, reading some book about Magical Creatures, and there was a bag sitting on the table across from him. That he had seen slung across Thea's shoulder.

"Whatcha doin, Moony?" Sirius sighed, sitting down and putting his feet on the table. He didn't really know why, but he felt the need to put them on her bag.

Remus sighed, "Busy, Pads."

"Well, we were planning on going ArA a swim in the lake, if you'd like to join us."A"We were?" Peter asked,

"Yes," No, they weren't, but the idea popped into Sirius' head and now he wanted to.

Remus opened his mouth to respond, but-

"You're joking me right now." 

Thea was standing between two shelves, a couple meters away. 

Sirius looked her up and down slowly, because, damn, she was hot, "You know this bird, Moony?"

"I actually am going to head out. We're allowed to check out books, right, Remus?" Thea asked, pulling her bag out from under his feet. 

"Yeah, but you don't have to go, Thee-"

"It's cool, dude. I'll catch you later, okay?"

Remus sighed, "Okay, see you."

As soon as she was out of sight, Remus said, "Sirius, what did you do."

Um, rude. "Who's to say I did anything?"

Remus just raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay, I don't know. Peter and I were walking, and she just said something to us and walked away."

"D'you think you can recall there conversation?"

"Well, of course, my dear Moony. We were discussing girls, and she said something about our opinions, and that was it."

For maybe the fourth time since they'd arrived, Remus sighed, "I better go after her."

That made Sirius sit up, head tilting to the side, "Why?"

"Because you're an idiot," And Remus walked in the direction Thea went.

Sirius frowned. 

"Did Remus call her Thee?"

* * *

The movies did not exaggerate. 

At the bottom of the slide, which Thea couldn't help but say "Weeeeee!" on, she blamed Voldy memes, the floor was covered in bones. Like a carpet, but thicker. 

With each step, her feet sunk down to where the bones came up to her ankles. 

This room was a cylinder with a high ceiling, so high she almost couldn't see it. The slide had been long, taking maybe two minutes, but the Chamber wasn't that low, was it?

Eh, it didn't matter all that much. 

In this cylinder room, there were two holes in the wall, parallel to one another, perfect circles about two feet off the ground. The one behind her was the slide, which she had just slid out of.

The one in front of her, she couldn't see the end of, but she assumed it lead to the door to the chamber.

So, with a deep breath and before she lost her nerve, she set off.

The path was long. So long, Thea thought it'd never end.

That would be really horrible, to forever walk this path, with its gross sewer smell, the occasional puddle that she really didn't want to think about, and the dank vibes. And not in the meme way.

She sighed. Well, Thea had a lot of walking to do.

* * *

Thea couldn't breathe. Couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe.

The door was in front of her, the door to the Chamber of Secrets, and she was about to try to kill the Basilisk.

God, who did she think she was? Trying to kill a fucking basilisk.

The King of Serpents. She couldn't do that. She was no one. She was...

She was insignificant, she was a fly to this snake. 

Ugh, why was her brain like this? She had been walking, and it had been fine, and then somehow, her brain had decided to let go of that little bit f anger she was still holding onto, and grab onto some healthy self-doubt. Fucking nice, bro.

Thea shouldn't even be panicking over this anyway, because this wasn't real. There was no way this could possibly be real, so it didn't matter if she died. If she got hurt. Who cares?

So just do it, Thea. Say the word and hold up your mirror and do it.

Do it.

She took a breathe, "Slifai."

And nothing happened.

"Well, that was anticlimacti-"

There was a great roar, a scream that sent her hair flying, that she could feel in her bones.

"Nevermind, then."

Oh, she needed to lift the mirror. Fast.

After that, she didn't see anything. She just stood there, eyes closed, mirror over her face.

Something slithered toward Thea from in front of her, and then-

The noise just stopped.

The only thing audible was the echoing drip of water.

Was...was that it? 

Could Thea look now?

Oh, no, would she still be killed if she looked into its eyes, even though it was dead? 

Ugh, what could she do?

Hmm, ok, time to think, time to think.

Maybe she could break the mirror, keep her eyes closed, and then feel around for the basilisk, so she could stab it in the eyes, and then she could look.

That'd work, right?

God, Thea hoped so, because that was her only plan.

She stretched out her arms, trying to feel for something, and she squeaked when she touched something slick and scaly.

So, it was literally right in front of her. 

Okay, she could work with this.

Quickly, so she wouldn't second guess herself, she crouched down and threw the mirror onto the stone of the floor.

Thea felt around for a big, sharp piece, and winced when one nicked her finger. 

She picked it up carefully, and it dug into her palms when she tightened her grip, but she didn't think it was enough to draw blood. At least, she hoped so.

Once she was standing again, she took a tiny step forward and reached for the basilisk.

She found it, and felt around until something moist and smooth and glassy touched her fingertips. 

"I'm sorry," She whispered, then stabbed into the surface.

It was disgusting, what happened next. A lig=quid that was probably - hopefully - blood splattered onto her, and she nearly voimted then and there. What had her actually vomiting was how it felt on her fingertips. It was like one of those gel bouncy balls had broken, except so much more... more real. More... substantial.

Thea vomited all over herself, but right now she honestly didn't care all that much. She felt around to the other side of its face this time, felt its snout, its open mouth, and before she could stop and overthink she stabbed where she thought its other eye would be.

The result was much the same, liquid splattering, and when Thea went to vomit, she just coughed and dry heaved, because there was nothing left.

Could she open her eyes now? Did she want to? She probably had to, but...

No, she had to. _Open your damn eyes, Thea_.

The sight before her was enough to have her heaving again. 

The serpent was frozen in place, mouth slightly open, nostrils flared, and its eyes... oh, god, its eyes were...

Blood was splattered all around its eyes, and Thea had to close her eyes again. She couldn't even describe the sight. 

it was just... it was too gory to put in to words fro Thea. 

God, she had to get out of here.

Get out, get out, get out.

She backed away, hands over her eyes, and tripped over the frame of the circular door. 

She half stumbled, half ran until she felt she was far enough away from the basilisk to open her eyes. 

When she looked back, like the dummy she was, the door with the snakes on it was closed, thank god.

On the walk back to the cylinder room, Thea felt numb. She barely noticed when she reached the room, until she was falling because she didn't anticipate how low the floor became. 

Thea honestly could only vaguely remember taking off her shoes and climbing up the slide and sitting in Myrtle's bathroom, watching the Chamber close.

Thea didn't know how long she sat with her back against the wall, staring at the sink, only knew that eventually she stood in front of one of the mirrors.

She couldn't leave like this, she looked like she had just gone trough hell.

Blood and grime were all over her face and arms and legs, her clothes were torn, there was a long scratch down her leg, dried blood trailing below it. 

"Reparo," Did the trick in mending her clothes, but they still looked disgusting. 

She couldn't quite remember the cleaning spell... What was it?

Oh, scourgify, that was it.

That spell had her at least not looking like a zombie, which was good enough for her. 

No one was out on her way back to her dorm, and when she arrived, everyone was asleep. How long was she gone?

She supposed it didn't matter. Thea honestly didn't care, just as long as she could take a shower and go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all i'm so lazy, i didn't edit again lmao but i feel good about this chapter so i'm just gonna post it lol  
> lmk what you think pls!


	7. Rollercoaster

The sun was shining when Thea woke up. 

It was like a scene from a fairytale ; birds were chirping, sunlight filtered in through Thea’s curtains, it was still.

Well, it would have been like a fairytale if Thea didn’t feel like absolute shit.

For one thing, she was exhausted. For another, she hurt. And her stomach was growling. 

Getting up and groaning, Thea stretched. Holy fuck, her clock said 2 p.m. 

Wow, she really just slept until 2 in the afternoon, didn’t she? 

Eh, that was okay. She probably needed it. Though she couldn’t remember why.

Then everything came back to her. The basilisk. The blood. The numbness of it all.

Oh dang. That was a lot.

But... how did Thea know it was real? The whole situation felt like a dream. Or a nightmare. 

The ache in her bones disagreed. 

So had she.. had she really killed a basilisk? Should she check? 

Probably, but Thea really didn't want to see... _that_... again.

Well, she couldn't now anyway, she'd have to wait until late again. Maybe. 

Why was her brain saying that again? Oh, right, so maybe Myrtle will be asleep when she goes.

For now, though, she should probably eat. 

* * *

The Great Hall was pretty much empty when Thea got there, except for the odd student here and there. 

Lucky for her, it was Saturday, so food would be out all day. 

The options for lunch today were fish and chips, these round cake-pie looking things, black pudding (extreme gag), and steak and kidney pie. 

Ugh, she'd have to go down to see Lalli if she wanted something good today, wouldn't she?

You know what, not a big deal. Thea wasn't that hungry anyway. It was fine. 

What should she do today? Thea probably had piles of homework, but also, she had never been to the Room of Requirement, and she was itching to go. 

It would be fine if she juts did it all tomorrow, right? She could handle that. (She felt like a bit of her mind was laughing at her like, "Hah, bitch, no," But now she'd made up her mind and it was too late.

Where was that tapestry again? Somewhere on the 7th floor? Maybe the 5th? 

She would have to do a lot of searching, couldn't she. 

Oh, well, now she was excited, so she didn't mind. (And definitely not trying to distract herself from thinking about all the shit from the last couple weeks because it felt like she hadn't even processed any of it yet. Of course not.)

* * *

After an hour of searching, Thea found it! 

How could she have forgotten about the ballet trolls?

She hadn't started pacing yet, though.

What did she want?

She didn't know. 

Somewhere that made her feel safe. And that had stuff from the 21st century. It would be nice to listen to some music again. 

So did she just.. do it? Just walk and think and that was it?

Also, was it weird that she was nervous? This felt pretty defining, didn't it, because she wasn't thinking of a specific place, just a feeling? 

You know what, no. It didn't have to be defining if Thea didn't want it to be. Yeah.

_Just pace, Thea_.

She kept her eye on the opposite wall to the tapestry as she walked, and lo and behold, a painted white wooden door, like on of those barn doors showed up.

Her breath caught. Slowly, almost as if to make sure it really existed, she touched the door handle with her fingertips, then wrapped her hand round it.

It closed with a familiar thud behind her, and Thea thought she might cry.

Part of the room was her bedroom back home, but somehow so much better.

Her double bed was pushed up into a corner, a floor to ceiling window at the foot of it. Fairylights were strung around the room, and two white bookshelves were on opposite walls. On the right wall was a big grid of polaroids. Thea knew they had never been taken, but they captured some really great moments. Most weren't even that significant, just hanging out with friends.

Past all that was this sort of canopy room thing. 

The ceiling was made of trees, with light filtering through the leaves. The ground was soft grass, flat, and there was a blue and grey beach towel lying in the center.

The walls were tree trunks and bushes, but she could see past them to a field of flowers. It was beautiful.

Tears pricked her eyes. For whatever reason, this place felt so nice. Like warmth filtering into her soul. She felt safe here. Exactly what she wanted, she just hadn't expected it to be this... _strong_.

Thea sank down onto the towel, lying on her back and closing her eyes. 

Now would be a good time to process, wouldn't it? Before it all just exploded out of her. 

Ok, so.

She was at Hogwarts. In the 1970s. 

And she killed a basilisk. 

And she shouldn't exist here. At all. 

Thea shouldn't be here, she would mess something up. What if she changed something, and then Harry was never born, and then Voldemort won? 

What if she had to watch a future she already understood?

It made her feel heavy, deep down in the pit of her stomach. 

And what if she knew too much, and then someone figured her out?

What if-wait.

Oh shit.

That dog. 

Was Sirius.

If this was the 70s, and Remus was here, Sirius was, too, and it was fifth year, so they all were Animagi already. Meaning she had given Sirius Black belly rubs. The actual fuck?

Thea curled up on her side, into a ball, hugging her knees to her chest.

And named his Snuffles? What if that messed something up? What if someone else was supposed to and it ended up being some big character development, but she had just gone and fucked with that?

Her breathing picked up, and her throat was starting to feel tight.

You know what, no, Thea chose to believe that time would work how it did in Harry Potter, since she was, you know, in Harry Potter. 

Everything was already happened, and it would be fine. Everything would be fine. 

But, Thea didn't feel fine. She felt weirdly like a different person. She had killed another creature, and though it wasn't entirely innocent, it didn't deserve to die. 

A sob tore its way through her throat. And another. Until they were all just happening.

Thea was the type of person that couldn't even kill a spider, even though she was terrified of them, and she had killed something so much bigger than that. A whole basilisk was dead. Because of her.

And Thea was never going home. There was no feasible way to get home, when she didn't even know how she got here. 

But maybe the question wasn't how, but if she even wanted to?

Maybe that was horrible, and she did miss people from back home. Dad. Her sister, Kallee. Her dog, Snoopy. Her friends, though they didn't really talk anymore.

And Thea loved them.

But she also believed that love shouldn't be not being able to live without someone. It should be being okay without someone in your life but _wanting_ them there anyway.

Hot take : Romeo and Juliet's relationship? Not healthy, dude.

Did it even matter if she tried to go back home anyways? Was there anything she could do?

Probably not. Was any of this even real? Or was her brain just making this up?

She doubted it was real, but it wasn't exactly fake, either. No matter what, though, her actions would have zero affect on the future, going by Harry Potter time travel logic. So did it matter that she had just murdered another living being? Probably not.

Did that mean she could do whatever she wanted? Would anyone even care? 

Did that take her anxiety away, or add to it?

Did any of this internal monologue matter? Did it even make sense?

Who fucking cares at this point, because-

Because nothing even matters in the long run.

God, Thea just wanted to sleep, and the sun was so warm. Her brian was exhausted. Maybe that little self reflection period was very short, but she was tired, okay?

Maybe if she closed her eyes for just a second...

* * *

Sirius was confused.

Granted, he acted confused a lot more than he actually was, but this time it was true.

Last night, he had looked for that Hufflepuff on the Map, because something about her just... called him.

But, when he looked, she was nowhere to be found. Not in the castle. Not anywhere on the grounds.

The next morning he checked again, and she was in her dorm, presumably sleeping.

How was that possible? Did she leave in the middle of the night and come back?

Sirius was sitting in the library, watching the Map while Moony studied, and it happened again. 'Theodosia Greene' disappeared off of the Map. From the middle of a corridor. 

He was nearly falling asleep, just watching her name move through the castle, almost methodically, but he straightened.

"Moons," He said, blinking and staring at the Map, in case his eyes were playing tricks on him. But they weren't. Her name was really gone.

"What, Sirius?" He was still bent over a piece of parchment, hair fluffed up like a halo. It was adorable.

"That girl, the one who was here with you last night-

"Thea,"

"Yes, her, her name disappeared."

That got his attention, his eyes darting to Sirius' then down at the Map, "But that's not possible."

"Apparently it is." They looked at each other for a moment, "Join me in investigating, my dear Moony?" 

Remus sighed, looking between the map and his work for moment, then started putting his things away, "Where was she before she disappeared?"

* * *

"There has to be something here," Sirius was crouched in front of a tapestry of trolls doing ballet, inspecting the ground carefully.

Remus didn't know what he could possibly be looking for, "What do you expect, Pads? A little sign that says, 'clue here'?"

Though he couldn't see his face, he could hear the eye-roll in Sirius' voice, "Well, what do you expect we should do, then?"

That he wasn’t sure. He started pacing, hand on his chin, “Maybe we should just watch the map for whenever she shows back up and then ask her about her day.”

“Ask her about her day? You think she’d tell us?”

”Maybe, she usually starts the conversation about that and we talk about what- Sirius.”

”What? Did you find something?” You could say that. 

A door that he could’ve sworn wasn’t there before was on the wall across from the tapestry. 

“Sirius, look.”

”Alright, alright, I’m- oh.”

”There’s never been a room here before, has there?”

”No, I’m positive there hasn’t.”

“D’you think that’s where she went?”

”Only one way to find out.”

Thea was there, alright. Music was playing and she was spinning around in the center of what looked like a bedroom, singing along with the lyrics. Somehow, there was a little clearing behind her, grassy and sunny and surrounded by trees. 

“I don’t say no, when you don’t say no, oh, and it’s such a roller coaster, and a killer queen you are.”

The song ended and Thea laughed, head tipped back, arm moving with the last strum of guitar.

She opened her eyes after a moment and froze when she saw them. 

The beginning beat of another song started to play, and Thea walked over to the record player, which sat on a little table beside the bed, and lifted the needle, eyes on them the whole time.

”Uhh,” She cleared her throat, “Fancy seein’ you here.”

* * *

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Remus and Sirius were here. In the Room of Requirement. And they seemed quite confused.

“Where exactly is here?” Remus asked, gesturing slightly.

”Ummmm....” Should she tell them? Well, duh, Thea. Why was she debating telling them? 

“It’s called the Room of Requirement.”

Thea had been listening to her driving playlist when she saw the boys. 

After her melt down, and after a 'quick' nap, she had started exploring the shelves and seen her playlists on records. All her tears were dried, and she was feeling oddly better now.

”How do you know about it?" Sirius asked, a bit harshly, all the while watching her suspiciously.

Thea sighed. _Because I read about it._

She opened her mouth to reply, but Remus cut in, "Are you alright?"

"What?" She and Sirius asked, in unison, which was a bit weird, not that Thea had time to dwell on it.

"Are you alright? You look as if you've been crying."

That took her aback. She thought she looked fine now. She even checked. And Thea never expected anyone to notice. Especially not someone she'd known for a week.

Her mouth was slightly open, and she closed it, opened it and spoke, "I'm..." Fine? That was a lie. Why was it so hard for her to lie to Remus? Usually this lie was simple and practiced. Like brushing your teeth.

Thea sighed and plopped down on her bed, lying on her back, "Not really. But it's not that important."

Tears were welling again, and her throat was closing ever so slightly. _Don't you dare cry now, Thea._

Weight shifted on the bed as Remus sat beside her. He put his hand up, like he was going to touch her, then clenched it and dropped it in his lap, "It is, though, if you aren't alright."

Aw, that was sweet. But, she didn't exactly want to open that can of worms right now, "I heard about it from a friend back home. One girl in my class has an older sister who traveled after she graduated, and she met someone that went here and they got married. I think she told my friend, who told me. Didn't think it was real though."

Why was lying so easy for her? 

"Thee. What's wrong?" 

She was silent for a moment, "Can you teach me how to conjure a Patronus?" 

"Uh, sure, but-wait, how did we get here?"

"Well, we went through that door, which seems to have disappeared," That made her jump. Thea forgot that Sirius was here. How could she?

Thea sat up, and furrowed her brow at Sirius, "I don't know you." Liar.

"And that can be easily fixed. Sirius Black, at your service," He bowed with a flourish, and Thea had a little deja vu moment. Was this a British thing? Or a wizard thing? They weren't dwarves, were they?

Either way, a small smile pulled at her lips, and she stood and curtsied with her imaginary skirt, slipping into her bougie British accent, "Thea Greene, at yours."

"How did you guys find it? The Room," She asked, though she already had an inkling of how.

"I think the better question is how did _you_ find it?" 

She smirked, "Careful scientific experimentation, of course." Really just checking every corridor on the seventh floor for whichever felt right, "Your turn."

"Happenstance," Sirius replied, smirking right back.

"Okay, well, if you two are finished, what's wrong, Thea?"

She groaned. What did he have to care? Was that really necessary? 

"Dance with me, dudes!" The tip of the needle hit the record with a scratch, and Can I Call You Tonight? started playing.

"Yessssss, let's goooo!" This song was the bomb.org. 

Thea was already jumping around and waving her arms to the beat, because she didn't know how to 'dance', persay.

Sirius was watching her bemusedly, and Remus was looking at her in what seemed like shock.

Neither of the boys could get a word in edgewise, and Thea grabbed Remus' hands, "Come on, lazy bones! Dance!" 

Thea pulled him up to stand, and started waving his arms randomly. 

The verse started, "I feel close, well, maybe I'm not, heaven knows," and Thea practically screamed the lyrics. 

She didn't know Sirius all that well, but she was feeling really good right now, for some reason, so she let go of Remus and pulled him to dance with them, too.

Thea laughed when he started dancing, too, and the chorus started.

Now, Thea was screaming, "So can I call you tonight? I'm tryna make up my mind, just how I feel, could you tell me what's real?"

"Oh, no," Thea's left boob popped out, how dare it? The left one was like a full cup size bigger than the right one. It was genuinely so annoying.

She just kept dancing, pulling her bra up while she danced, and the boys were staring at her, but she pretended she didn't see. 

"Cause I wouldn't know,"

"Voice so low, sneaking around, so it goes,"

Eventually the boys started dancing again, mostly because of Thea jabbing them in the side, and at the end, Thea was laughing and spinning, and fell onto the floor. The ceiling was spinning. 

This feeling was the best. Like driving at midnight. She wished it could last forever. 

Next, a familiar riff played, which had Thea jumping up again, "Ba da da bum bum, bum bum, ba da da bum bum, bum budum bum!"

Best Day of My Life was so nostalgic, it almost hurt. Or maybe Thea was just getting tired, she didn't know. Also, she couldn't breathe, but whatever.

"I had a dream so big and loud, I jumped so high I touched the clouds, woah, woah,"

"I stretched my hands out to the sky, we danced with monsters through the night, woah, woah,

"I'm never gonna look back, woah, never gonna give it up, no, please don't wake me now,"

Sirius and Remus had both been seated on her bed for a while now, and she started yell-singing the words to them.

"This is gonna be the best day of my life, my liiiiiiiife, oooh ooh ooh, this is gonna be the best day of my life, my liiiiiiiife."

"I howled at the moon with friends, and then the sun came crashing in, woah, woah," 

Remus paled slightly, his easy smile tightening a fraction. _Oh my god, the lyrics_.

"But all the possibilities, no limits, just epiphanies, woah, woah,"

She grabbed Remus' hands again and started spinning around with him

"I'm never gonna look back, woah, never gonna give it up, no, just don't wake me now."

They stopped moving, and when the beat picked up, Thea pulled him in a circle again, "This is gonna be the best day of my life, my liiiiiiiife,

"This is gonna be the best day go my life, my liiiiiiiife,"

Thea let go of Remus for the bridge, slowly walking toward Sirius and waving her arms, "I hear it calling, outside my window, I feel it in my soul, soul,"

"The stars were burning so bright, the sun was out til midnight, I say we lose control-trol." Sirius stood and grabbed her hand, started jumping around with no cue from Thea. It made her really happy. 

"Ooh, oooh, ooh, ooh, this is gonna be the best day of my life, my liiiiiiiife, this is gonna be the best day of my life, my liiiiiiiiife, 

"This is gonna be, this is gonna be, this has gotta be, the best day of my life, everything is looking up, everybody up now, 

"This is gonna be the best day of my life, my liiiiiiiife."

Another chord progression started after a few seconds, when they were all still and breathing heavily, and Thea recognized it immediately. 

"The moon is high, like your friends were the night that we first met, went home and tried to stalk you on the internet, now I've read all the books beside your bed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs :  
> Rollercoaster by Bleachers  
> Can I Call You tonight? by Dayglow  
> Best Day of My Life by American Authors  
> Paper Rings by Taylor Swift
> 
> i’ve been wanting to write a chapter like this since i had the idea for this story, and i’m feeling kind of good about it  
> hope you enjoyed!! please comment!


	8. Here Comes the Sun

They were all lying on Thea's bed now, catching their breath.

And Thea's brain was catching up with her actions. 

She just danced with a complete stranger. She could hardly dance with her friends back home. What was happening?

Maybe it was stupid, but she was really self conscious of the way she danced, because it was really just jumping around and flailing limbs. 

What should she say now? Thea was aware of the fact that both boys were looking at her while she stared at the ceiling, and of the fact that all of her confidence seemed to have melted away.

Without giving it much thought, she shot up, "I'm sorry, there's somewhere I need to be," Thea rushed to the door, not looking at Remus or Sirius.

Vaguely, she noticed someone calling after her, and footsteps following her, bur suddenly everything was just too much again.

She didn't want to make small talk with Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. She didn't want to pretend everything was fine, and dodge her friends concern. So what choice did she have, other than to run until she was out of breath and found herself in a corridor.

A corridor that she, for once, actually recognized. It was the one with the Hufflepuff common room entrance, and the Potions classroom, as well as a bunch of empty classrooms.

Thea was just by the barrels that marked the common room, but... she couldn't- she wasn't ready to go back there. Not yet.

Her feet took her forward, toward the Potions classroom.

Down here, in the dungeons, was oddly peaceful. Sure, it was dark, but not all darkness was bad. This darkness was calm, to Thea.

Why was that? Why was she acting the way she was? God, she was being so dramatic today, wasn't she? But at the same time, that was how Thea was feeling, so it didn't matter.

A hummed melody, one that Thea vaguely recognized, sounded through the corridor.

Naturally, Thea listened to her curiosity and followed it.

The song was so familiar, why couldn't Thea place it? It was wholesome and happy and soft. 

"Little darling~" A deep, resonant voice sang, and wow, that voice. Was gorgeous. Whoever it was hummed the rest of the line, and finished the line, "Since you've been here."

She tracked the voice to an empty classroom on her right, and slowly pushed open the door.

Inside was a boy, back facing her, stirring a cauldron and singing. He had chocolate skin and short hair, wearing a white shirt with black pants.

"Here comes the sun, I say, its alright," At that moment, the boy turned around, presumably to pick something up off of a desk, and found her. Just staring st him. 

And, not even gonna lie, his face was gorgeous, too. He had golden eyes, and full lips, and overall looked kind of like a greek god. If a greek god was black. But there was no other way to describe him. He was just so elegant and...cold.

He frowned for a moment, then smirked, "Like what you see, hmm?"

His voice was nice, smooth like melted chocolate.

Oh, she was staring, wasn't she?

"Maybe I do," She smirked back. Okay, where had that come from?

Seriously, her mood was all over the place today. What gives?

He chuckled, and plucked something off of the desk. He turned, dropping it in the cauldron. 

"Who are you?" He asked, as he returned to his stirring.

"I could ask you the same question," Slipped out before she could stop it. Wow, her sass was really coming out right now, huh. She stepped forward, crossing her amrs.

"I asked first," Thea could head the smirk on his lips, somehow.

Her lips twitched upward, "Thea Greene. Fifth year Hufflepuff. Your turn," She sang.

"Dominic Zabini, Fifth year Slytherin."

Making a little hum sound, Thea ambled up to the table with the cauldron. The contents of the cauldron was a murky grey, bubbling slightly. It smelled strange, but enticing, like leather and books and something like nature.

For a while, neither spoke, and Thea just watched. Strangely, it wasn't awkward. It felt normal. Weird.

There was something about the way he moved, though. With confidence and grace, so sure. 

It calmed the part of Thea that was still anxious, somehow.

After a while, Thea felt bold, and hopped onto the table next to the cauldron, and all Dominic did was glance at her, then returned to his potion.

As Dominic stirred, the potion turned to a shining black, and he made a sort of annoyed noise.

He plucked his wand from the other side of the cauldron, "Scourgify."

With that, Dominic waved his wand again, and everything that wa sout flew into a bag on the floor.

He gave her a vicious smirk, grabbing the bag and walking out of the room.

* * *

The next two weeks were uneventful. 

Thea started noticing that Slytherin everywhere. Almost every time they were in the same room, their eyes would meet and he'd smirk at her and she'd either smirk right back or look away shyly. 

It felt like they'd reached an understanding, somehow, that they weren't enemies. Maybe that was a Slytherin thought process, but he was, in fact, a Slytherin.

And she stopped going to the library, because she didn't know how to face Remus after Saturday. God, that was so stupid and awkward and weird, why would she do that?

Thea missed Remus. She missed his witty banter, how he seemed so innocent snd kind but was really just good at hiding the troublesome part of him. She missed that she knew him, even after just a week. And she missed the companionship. The not being alone. 

Oh, and another thing. Thea started eating meals at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall. Just to have some routine other than classes. Routine was a comfort for her, and right now she really felt like she needed the comfort.

It was on Thursday, September 18, at lunch that Remus approached her again.

And he looked like death. There were geeat purple circles under his eyes, and he was pale. He seemed to hide even more into his sweater than usual. 

And this skeletal Remus just plopped down across from her at dinner, without a word.

He just acted like this was normal. And actually, Thea didn't know if it was. Were different houses even allowed to sit at other tables?

Glancing up at her from his plate, which he was already piling with food, he laughed a bit and said, "Don't look so shocked. Aren't I allowed to eat with my friend?"

Aww, that made her smile. She was his friend!!!

"Well, yes, except that your little boy band seems a bit unhappy about it."

Thea gestured behind Remus, where the Marauders sat, staring at Remus and Thea.

She hadn't seen him quite yet, but she didn't have much time to process James Potter. 

He was exactly as Thea imagined him. Hazel eyes, deep tan skin, light freckles, circle glasses, 'windswept' hair. The works.

Remus seemed to glower at that, though. 

Oh, no. Trouble in paradise?

Thea looked back at the boys more closely. Remus looked kind of pissed off, Sirius looked confused, James looked surprised, and Peter looked conflicted.

Hmm. Thea pursed her lips.

She reached out to grab his hand, which was resting on the table, and asked, "What's wrong?"

Remus sighed, and squeezed her hand. "It's nothing, Thee. Not a big deal."

"You sure?" She asked, tilting her head and glancing back at the Gryffindor table. All of the boys eyes were on her and Remus's hands together. "It's okay if everything's not okay, Rem."

He gave her a pained smile, "Really, it's alright. Thank you, though."

"Of course. If it turns out to be something, I'm always here for you, okay?"

This smile felt more genuine. "Thanks, Thee."

Squeezing his hand, Thea withdrew hers. 

They ate for a few moments in a calm quiet, until, "So, are we going to address what happened in the Room of Requirement, or just ignore that?"

Thea groaned, burying her face in her hands, "Oh my god, that was so embarrassing."

Remus chuckled, "Why? I thought it was fun."

She looked back at the Gryffindor table, where Sirius was now talking to James about something. 

"Its just- I'm not good at opening up to people, okay? And for some reason I feel like I've known you forever, so its easy, but I don't know Sirius. It makes me-I don't know-I don't know him."

He hummed, taking a bite of his food.

"I understand what you mean," He said, nodding slightly, "You're an easy person to be friends with, and he's... well, he's Sirius. In the best way, but... he's difficult."

Thea sighed. What did that mean? It made her feel kind of icky inside.

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure," Remus paused, then smirked, "Peter's thinking of asking you out."

"What?" Thea didn't-what????

"Yeah, he might ask you to Hogsmeade next weekend."

Thea-No. Nope, nope, nope.

"I-" She fiddled with her hands, looking down. 

"You don't have to say yes, just let him down gently, alright? He's not very confident, and I don't want to see him get hurt."

Her head darted back up, and she met his eyes. "Yeah, of course. I wouldn't intentionally hurt him, Remus."

He raised his hands in surrender, "Never said you would. Just-" He sighed, "Please be kind to him."

Thea nodded, "I will." Taking another bite, she glanced back to the Gryffindor table. Jesus Christ, these boys were still staring at her.

She was kind of tempted fo flip them off.

But no, she liked being 'innocent' or whatever the fuck. God, she definitely wasn't, but people seemed to be nicer to her if they thought she was. And, it was fun to act clueless. 

Like, one time, in 8th grade, someone was talking about a joke someone else made, something about cum, and Thea, being herself, had tilted her head, and said, "What's that?"

And her friend didn't have the heart to explain it to her, so she just shook her head.

Of course, in reality, Thea watched porn. She read smut. She masturbated. Which is perfectly normal and healthy. 

But it took so much strength not to laugh at her friend's face. So, yeah, it was fun.

Her eyes moved away from the boys, who looked at each other quickly when they noticed that she saw them, and met the Slytherin's eyes. 

It would seem he was already watching her. And he ran his tongue over the sharp part of his front teeth, mouth slightly agape, lips tilted upward, which left Thea a tad flustered.

Fuck, why was that hot? This person was already attractive, but did he have to do flirty things, too?

"You're blushing, Thea."

Remus' voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Well, tell your friends to stop staring at my boobs, and I might stop."

That wasn't why she was blushing, obviously, but it was true. Sirius was practically eyefucking her, which made her slightly uncomfy. 

Remus, meanwhile, glanced down after she said that, causing Thea to look down, too, and she nearly rolled her eyes.

(She didn't notice his eyes darken.)

Her shirt was unbuttoned slightly. Jesus, could these hormonal teenagers not handle someone's shirt being barely unbuttoned? It wasn't even that low cut. Like, yes, you could see the valley, but you couldn't see the veins in her boobs. So, what?

"Maybe button up your shirt, and they'd stop."

Oh hell no.

"Um, excuse me?"

He was not pinning it on her. The feminist in her was about to come out.

Remus was frowning, staring at his plate. 

He paused, "You're asking for it."

Hell. No.

She didn't even know what to say.

You know what, it was okay. He was a teenage boy in the 70s. He didn't know any better. 

"My clothes don't decide if I want to be objectified, Remus."

His grip tightened on his fork, and after a moment, he shook his head, and looked up, smiling weakly at her, "You're right. I'm sorry."

She smiled, "It's okay. Just try to not do it again, yeah?"

-

Remus was having a bad day. For one, the full moon was in two days, on Saturday, and his friends didn't make it any better.

"Mate, why are you staring at her? Does Moony have a crush?" James sang, wiggling his eyebrows. 

And before you ask, yes, Remus had been staring. At Thea.

Her hair fell down her back today, half tied up, and her curves were very distracting, alright? 

She was beautiful. And it had caught him off guard.

Remus hadn't even thought about her that way until Saturday, when he and Sirius found her in the Room of Requirement.

They had danced together. Thea was like a ball of energy that day, so fired up and joyful. It was really adorable. And her tit just-just flew out of her shirt, and Sirius and Remus couldn't help but stare.

God, her tits were very attractive, now that he actually thought about it. And she was, _in_ _general_ , very attractive.

She was smart, funny. Beautiful. Absolutely adorable, but simultaneously hot as hell. 

And she was kind. Like no one Remus knew. He almost wished he could do something about this new feeling, maybe act on it but-

"I think he does, Prongs. On the wee puff."

Remus glared down at his plate. "I don't."

"Aww, out little boy is growing up," James said, hand flying to his forehead, sniffing through imaginary tears.

"I don't, and even if I did, it doesn't matter, alright?" Remus practically growled.

"Oh, he's still in denial. Should we tell him?"

"I think we should."

"Merlin, he hasn't had the talk, has he?"

"Mm, you're right, Pads. We'll need to fix this immediately."

Sirius took a deep breath, "See, Remus, when a boy and a girl really love each other-" Peter and James were snickering, and he couldn't take it.

Remus barely registered the actions as he picked up his plate and went to sit with Thea.

And she looked up with her wide hazel eyes, like a deer in headlights.

Godric, she was beautiful.

Something about her made the anger all just go away.

He smiled at her, and laughed slightly, "Don't look so shocked. Aren't I allowed to eat with my friend?"

Thea's face morphed into a warm smile. 

"Well, yes, except that your little boy band seems a bit unhappy about it."

She gestured behind him, presumably to the other Marauders, and just like that, the anger returned.

He took a bite of his food, so he didn't have to respond.

And what Thea did next made his tired heart skip a beat.

She reached across the table and grabbed his free hand, "What's wrong?"

All of the tension melted out of him, and he slumped slightly, sighing. He wished he could tell her. But no. Remus was a monster, and he couldn't stand Thea thinking that of him. Not her. 

Squeezing her hand, he sighed, "It's nothing, Thee. Not a big deal."

"You sure?" She asked, tilting her head, and god damn it all if his heart didn't stutter again, at the way her hair fell over her shoulder, how her eyes widened, how she looked like she cared so much. 

She glanced behind him, "It's okay if everything's not okay, Rem."

 _Rem_. No one had ever called him that before. He liked it. Perhaps too much.

Putting as much energy as he could into it, Remus gave her a smile, that was probably obviously fake. But part of it was real. The part that was _really_ listening to her, to what she meant. 

"Really, it's alright. Thank you, though."

She didn't seem to believe him, but she pretended she did, at least, "Of course. If it turns out to be something, I'm always here for you, okay?"

His smile changed, and it didn't take as much energy. She really did care, didn't she?

Remus didn't know what he would do if that ever changed. If she ever found out.

He decided then and there, that she couldn't.

Squeezing his hand one more time, Thea went back to eating. 

Remus took another bite, then something hit him "So, are we going to address what happened in the Room of Requirement, or just ignore that?"

Thea groaned, and buried her face in her hands, "Oh my god, that was so embarrassing."

That made him laugh, "Why? I thought it was fun."

What was embarrassing about it? The fact that she seemed happy? Or the fact that she seemed happy with _him_.

"Its just- I'm not good at opening up to people, okay? And for some reason I feel like I've known you forever, so its easy, but I don't know Sirius. It makes me-I don't know-I don't know him."

Ah. He hummed an affirmative, taking another bite. 

"I understand what you mean," Remus said, nodding slightly, "You're an easy person to be friends with, and he's... well, he's Sirius. In the best way, but... he's difficult."

That was true. Sirius was one if his best mates, but he could be really difficult to get along with if you didn't know him well. Just because he was rough and loud and the complete opposite of Thea. He was brazen and unapologetic. 

Thea sighed, "Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure," Remus paused, then smirked, "Peter's thinking of asking you out."

Why would he say that? It was the truth, but he didn't want Thea to be with Peter. He wanted-No.

"What?" Thea looked up, again like a deer in headlights.

"Yeah, he might ask you to Hogsmeade next weekend."

She frowned, fidgeting eith her hands and staring down at her lap,"I-"

"You don't have to say yes, just let him down gently, alright? He's not very confident, and I don't want to see him get hurt."

Her head darted back up, and she met his eyes. "Yeah, of course. I wouldn't intentionally hurt him, Remus."

That was not what he meant at all. He meant that Peter was...sensitive.

He raised his hands in surrender, "Never said you would. Just-" He sighed, "Please be kind to him."

Thea nodded, "I will." 

Remus felt eyes on his back as the pair went about eating instead of speaking.

As subtly as possible, he turned to find a Slytherin watching him. 

He was glaring at Remus, smirking a little, and then his eyes moved to Thea.

He slowly moved his tongue over his teeth, and when Remus looked back at Thea, she was flustered. A wave of white hot _something_ rushed through him.

"You're blushing, Thea."

Remus' voice came out rougher than he intended.

"Well, tell your friends to stop staring at my boobs, and I might stop."

He looked down, and a warmth grew between his legs, unwanted. Her shirt was mostly unbuttoned, whowing the valley between her breasts, and, holy shit, she was hot.

But Remus hated it. Hated that his friends were staring at her, hated that the Slytherin got to see her.

"Maybe button up your shirt, and they'd stop," He stabbed his fork into his food, and he felt the wolf stir.

"Um, excuse me?"

The wolf wanted him to take her, she was his, take her out of the Hall and somewhere private where he could-

No. He couldn't let himself finish that thought.

"You're asking for it."

Her mouth opened, closed, and opened again, a look of shock on her face.

"My clothes don't decide if I want to be objectified, Remus."

His grip tightened on his fork, and after a moment, he shook his head, and looked up, "You're right. I'm sorry."

She smiled, "It's okay. Just try to not do it again, yeah?"

* * *

It was tonight. The full moon. The first with all four of them.

And Remus was still pissed.

They hadn't spoken about Thursday, just pretended it didn't happen, but it did.

Remus couldn't have her. Ever.

That was that. It was final.

Just before the sun sank into the horizon, the quarter was sitting in their dorm, James, Sirius, and Peter doing he didn't know what, while Remus sprawled out in bed, his eyes closed. 

Merlin, Remus was tired. He just wanted ti sleep, but the wolf was so awake. So ready to be let out of its cage.

James cleared his throat, and Remus opened one eye to look at him.

Turns out it wasn't just him. Sirius and Peter were on either side of him, sitting next to Remus' bed.

"What?" He asked, groggily.

They glanced between each other, and Sirius said, "We wanted to apologize. About Thursday. That was out of line, mate."

"Yeah, we shouldn't have said anything," James chimed in.

"Should've known better," Peter finished.

That brought a weak, but real smile to his face, "It's alright, I forgive you. Thank you."   
How had he been blessed with such kind, understanding friends?

Everyday he was aware of how much he didn't deserve them, and they were all about to go risk their lives to help him. They were insane. But they were his brothers. That's what brothers do, right?

And later that night, for the first time in what felt like forever, Remus almost felt safe as he transformed.

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its been such a long time
> 
> life has been crazy for me  
> anyways, hope you enjoyed!!  
> pls comment!!!


	9. I Would Notice

Remus was missing all day Saturday. 

Thea checked the library for him, the grounds, even went so far as to look for the other Marauders, but none of them could be found.

Then it hit her. The full moon. It must have been soon.

God, Thea wished she could do something for Remus, to comfort him and let him know that she was here for him. 

But she couldn't do that. Because she knew a lot more than she was supposed to.

So, she did her homework on Saturday, and went to bed early. It was rather boring.

Sunday morning, she woke up before the sun. 

And she felt well rested. Insane.

So she decided to go for a walk. Watch the sunrise.

It was beautiful, like a watercolor painting. 

The top of the sky was a deep, light blue, which faded into a buttery yellow.

She couldn't quite describe it, but wow, it was gorgeous.

Thea just watched it for a while, as the colors changed and faded into a pale blue.

Something wet nudged her shoulder, and, oh my god, it was Sirius. In dog form. How had she not heard him come up?

"Hey, there, bud," She reached up to scratch his ear, but he dodged and nudged her again. Hard.

Her brows furrowed as her hand flew to her shoulder. What was he doing?

Thea stood, because she was a little concerned by his behavior, and Sirius came up behind her. He started to push her legs toward the castle, gently but firmly.

She tried to lock her legs in place, but that just made him push harder.

"Alright, alright, calm yourself, sir!"

Thea put her hands up in surrender, and stumbled forward, looking at Sirius incredulously.

"What's got your wand in a knot?"

Of course, he didn't respond, but then Thea heard something howl nearby and she understood.

Last night must have been the full moon. And the moon might not have set yet. So Remus was still out there.

Sprinting toward the castle seemed to be the best option, and Thea heard thundering steps behind her. Hopefully they were Sirius.

She really, really didn't want to put her life on Remus' conscience, and she wasn't much of a runner, but she pushed herself to her limit and fucking ran.

She ran and ran and didn't stop until the doors to the castle were slammed behind her, Sirius panting beside her.

Shouldn't he be with Remus?

She shrugged. Oh well, he was here now. 

Thea didn't really know what to do now. She didn't want to go back to her common room or dorm, and her heart was racing faster than a stallion, and she wanted to not be alone.

She could go to the library, or the kitchens, or... there must be a better option, right?

Oh. The room of requirement. No duh, Thea.

She looked down to Sirius, to find he was already watching her, "Wanna come with me, pretty boy?"

He seemed to preen and nudged her hand with his nose. Thea decided to take that as a yes.

They trekked up the stairs, occasionally taking breaks because, goddamn, those stairs were fucking torture.

Once they reached the tapestry, which probably took like half an hour, Thea paced and thought, 'A place to rest.'

A new door showed up, one of a chestnut wood color.

Inside was small, but cozy. 

A flumpy yellow couch was pushed against one wall, and there was a floor to ceiling window overlooking the lake taking up the far wall. Parallel to the couch was a little table with a stack of records and a record player. The last wall was taken up by the door, and the little bit of floor space that was left had a grey rug on it. 

Sirius trotted in ahead of her, and jumped onto the couch rather nimbly. He stamped around in a circle for a second, then curled up, taking up pretty much the whole couch. God, he was huge. (That's what she said.)

Soon, Sirius was snoring lightly, and it was very adorable. 

She lifted his head gently, and sat placing it on her lap. She ran her fingers through his shaggy fur, and he leaned into her hand, still snoring. 

Maybe she could take a nap. She was exhausted. Just a quick nap, she'd get up in five minutes....

* * *

Thea woke up alone and feeling heavy.

She remembered having a dream, but she couldn't quite remember what it was. All she could remember was her mom's face, twisted up like she was trying not to cry. 

Yawning and rubbing her eyes, she looked out the window. The sun was high in the sky, and students were sprawled out on the lawn, enjoying their Sunday.

It made her sad, seeing them. It seemed to highlight the fact that she didn't have that, that she didn't belong here. 

Would anyone notice if she wasn't there? Remus had his own shit to worry about, and...

Wow. There was no one else that might kind of care. Even a little.

What would it matter if she just disappeared right now? 

What if she just...no, brain, no. 

What if she just cut? She'd never done it before, but what would it matter if she did now?

It would be all too simple to slit her wrist just over the big vein, and she wouldn't have to worry anymore. About Harry, about James and Lily, about Sirius and Remus, about Voldemort.

It would be so easy. Couldn't she just? 

Cut? 

Thea was holding her wrist up now, staring at her veins. Something about veins always grossed her out, and she was grossed out now, but... comforted, too.

Why was it comforting that she could just end it all now? Why did her fucked up brain like that?

No. She couldn't let herself cut. Nothing good would come out of it.

Right?

* * *

Remus _hurt_. Last night had been rough.

For a moment, he almost believed it wouldn't be that bad, but then the wolf reared its head and growled and it was too much. It was always too much, but he had hope last night. And it had been completely crushed.

Now, he was in the dorm, trying to sleep, but he couldn't.

Sirius, James, and Peter had given him space, they could tell something was different this time. 

And it was. Something was _different_.

He just didn't know what. 

Remus sighed and closed his eyes. 

He had seven new cuts that would scar. Seven. 

Usually it was only four or five, but the wolf seemed to know something was different, too. 

Tears sprang unbidden in his eyes. Why was this his life? What had he done to deserve this? What was so horribly wrong with him that this was his life?

Sometimes he just wished it would be over. Sometimes he just-

There was a sound from outside the door, on the stairway, and the door was pushed open. 

Thea was there. How was Thea there?

He didn't really have time to process, though, because she threw herself into his arms, and started sobbing. 

He wrapped his arms around her, she was basically in his lap now, because he had been lying in bed, but he just held her. She just cried, and they stayed like that for a while.

What was wrong? Was she okay? What should he do?

Remus didn't really know, though, so he just held her tightly and rubbed her back in a way that he hoped was soothing. 

Something felt so natural about this, and Remus couldn't help but inhale her scent.

His senses were still extremely strong because of his transformation, and she smelled something like roses and paper, and a little like metal. 

After a while, her tears started to dry, her face buried in his sweater, and she adjusted so her cheek was resting on his shoulder. 

Thea took a few deep breaths, then spoke, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have barged in like that."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Remus didn't know what else to say. Why was she sorry? She didn't need to be.

Thea just nodded a little against him.

"Do you know a lot about mental health, Rem?"

Did he? "I suppose not."

"Do you mind if I talk about it?"

"No, of course not."

"Okay, so... I have a lot of mental illnesses. I don't know if you know what they are, so I'm going to explain them anyway. But I have depression, anxiety, and PTSD."

She sighed, "Depression isn't exactly sadness. I think of it as like this deep heaviness, that gets in the way of happiness. The heaviness can turn into numbness, and then that can turn into disregard for your own life. Anxiety is like, at least fro me, a constant fuzzy feeling in my stomach, and I'm nervous all the time. And then PTSD is post-traumatic stress disorder. Basically, it's like I react in certain ways to things, and I can't control it, because my trauma has taught me to react that way."

"Anyways, I think I had a depressive episode today. I didn't- I had suicidal thoughts. And I just felt really alone. But you make me feel like I'm not alone."

"I don't really have any other friends, here or back home. Sometimes it feels like... like if I just disappeared tomorrow, no one would even notice. And I don't know if that was overshare-y or anything, so I'm gonna stop now, but...yeah."

Another sigh.

"Thea..." He started, but he didn't know what to say. So he just held her tighter.

"I would notice."

Thea lifted her head, met his eyes. Hers were wide, like she'd never heard anyone say that before.

"I would notice, and I would miss you."

More tears welled in her eyes, but she was smiling.

She leaned back into him, nuzzling her face into his shoulder.

"You know, it's really weird, but I feel like I've known you forever. Like I could tell you anything, you know? And...I really like being around you, Remus.'

"I feel the same. How can I feel so close go you when I've only known you for a few weeks?"

"I don't know, but...I like it. It's nice. 

"Yeah, it really is."

* * *

That night, back in her dorm, Thea couldn't sleep. 

She couldn't stop running through their conversation, and thinking, "Wow, I might love him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so  
> short chapter  
> but yeahhh thats it and im planning on having this book done by march??? maybe???? idk but ima do my best  
> comment plssssss i need le feedback pls pls  
> (also sorry for typos or anything as usual lol)


	10. 10

Remus was acting oddly quiet lately. They were studying in the Room of Requirement, and he was just being so...ah. 

It had been weeks since her depressive episode, and Thea was feeling great. She and Remus had been hanging out in the Room a lot, too, which was really nice. 

Remus sighed softly, tapping his quill on his lips.

“What’s wrong?” Thea asked, seeing as that was the fifth sigh today.

He glanced up at her, “Nothing.”

She narrowed her eyes.

“Liar. What’s wrong?”

Another sigh. “Nothing, Thea.”

“Hmm. Okay. But just know, you brought this upon yourself.”

Brought what-

“What did the fast tomato say to the slow tomato?” She paused, waiting for a response, but none came. “Ketchup.” 

Remus was not amused. Actually, he looked vaguely confused. 

She frowned, tilting her head, “What? You guys call ketchup ketchup, right?”

“What the hell is ketchup.”

Thea gasped, “Remus, you said a no-no word! There are children!”

He rolled his eyes, then turned back to his parchment.

God, what was his deal today? Eh, wasnt really her business, but what was her business, officially now, was making huim laugh, or at least smile.

So, she let her brain run through all the jokes she knew. 

“Umm. Why did-Actually no, you won’t appreciate that one.”

The joke Thea thought of was ‘Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side!’ 

Wow, Thea really was a professional comedian.

“Oh! Here’s one. Friendship is like pee in your pants after you peed yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. In your pants. Because you peed yourself.”

Remus, again, was not amused.

“Oh, come on, that was funny!”

A blank look.

“Okay, geez, I’ll think of a better one.”

Back to the drawing board Thea went.

A few minutes of peace for Remus later, “Oh my gosh, Remus.”

He looked at her, ratherly boredly.

“What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna1, Anna2.”

Thea cackled, because she was hilarious, but Remus didn’t match the energy.

"Wow, okay, nothing?"

And this fucker had the audacity - the audacity - to nod and smile smugly. How rude.

Thea rolled her eyes. Shit, she'd have to up her game now.

Okay, got one.

"Did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?"

"When you broke through the earth's crust ascending from hell."

Yes! That one got a crack of a smile.

Something popped into her head, and her eyes lit up. 

"Oh my god. Oh my god, Remus, are you ready?"

He looked up, a little like she was insane, but nodded slowly.

So, Thea grabbed her quill like a microphone and started yell-singing.

"Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I'm home bound.”

She did the piano on the table. 

"Duh-huh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh, duh-duh-nuh-nuh."

She pointed forward, toward the window near them.

"Staring blankly ahead, just making a way, making a way through the crow-ow-owd."

"And I need you,"

She drmmed the table.

"Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh"

Closed her eyes,

"And I miss you,"

Prepared herself.

"Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh."

She opened her eyes slowly as she sang, and met Remus’ eyes. "And now I wonder,"

(Remus was looking at her like she was insane again.)

"If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by?"

Getting up to dance, she rabbed Remus’s hand, and pulled him up.

"Cuz you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you."

"Tonight."

Thea jumped around and had the fucking time of her life, and Remus, for who knows why, just went along with it, adn finally let out a laugh, holding Thea’s hadn up as she twirled.

"Duh-huh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh, duh-duh-nuh-nuh."

Mission Make Remus Laugh : Accomplished.

-

Remus was conflicted. You see, he was getting rather close to a certain American witch. And she made him happy, just by being near him, but there was a little part of him that protested.

That said, “You’ll ruin everything for her. You’re a monster. You don’t deserve her.”

And he really didn’t.

He didn’t deserve her smile, her laughter, her kindness. He didn’t deserve the way she caught on to how he was feeling and acted accordingly. He didn’t deserve that she always knew what to say.

All of him believed that. Remus didn’t deserve Thea. And Thea didn’t deserve Remus. She didn’t deserve a monster. She deserved- He didn’t know. She deserved the world. Hell, the universe.

But still, she hadn’t yet seen how she was too good to be his friend. No, Thea was sitting peacefully across from him, in front of the window in the library, where they first met. She was looking down at her book, brows furrowed, eyes blazing across the page. Good Godric, she was beautiful. How was she so beautiful?

Thea glanced up, smiled a bit, and looked back down. Remus flicked his eyes away quickly, instead looking at the window. It was stormy today, raindrops racing to get to the bottom of the glass.

Were we all just raindrops? Racing each other until we died? Set on one path forever, just going down, down, down?

Was that really life? If that was life, was it worth it?

His thoughts were interrupted by a squeal. Shaking his head, Remus focused back on the present, and saw that Sirius had arrived, snatched Thea’s book from her, and was now holding it above his head. Where, of course Thea couldn’t reach. She, being 5’5”, couldn’t fight his 5”10”.

“Hold on, just-” Thea jumped up, grabbing at the book, “Hold on!” Sirius exclaimed, frowning.

With an adorable “hmmph” sound, Thea crossed her arms, pouting. Holy shit, she was too cute for words. Truly.

“Can I please have my book back?” She asked, her voice entirely sincere.

A flicker of surprise passed Sirius’ face, barely any. If you didn’t know him, like he was another part of you, you’d miss it.

But Remus knew him.

He smirked, moving his arms to hold the book behind his back.

“I just need a quick favor, love.”

It was Thea’s turn to look surprised, and her pout lessened as she straightened. “What’s the favor?”  
She tilted her head like a puppy, and her hair fell over her shoulder.

Remus watched as Sirius’ eyes followed the movement, and all of a sudden he was angry.

Thea was his.

Except she wasn’t. 

And she never would be.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“Well, my dear Greene, I need to practice a charm, and you have been selected as the lucky-

“Guinea pig.” Thea cut in, voice flat.

"No, not guinea pig, per-say. More like... helpful participant." Sirius smirked again, staring at Thea.

It was quiet for a moment, aside from the sounds of the library, until Thea sighed, "Okay, fine, just...please try to make it quick? I was at a really good part in my book."

Sirius gave her a winning smile, "Of course, love! Now, I just need you to close your eyes, and sit, and I'll be done in one moment."

Oh no, what was Sirius up to? Remus should've known from the beginning that he was up to _something_ , but he was so distracted that it didn't even cross his mind.

“Okay,” Thea smiled, and sat down, closing her eyes. Godric, she was so innocent. She would regret that, after whatever Sirius did. 

So, Sirius pulled put his wand, and waved it at Thea. Ah, so he was doing a nonverbal spell. He was always amazing at those. 

Nothing happened for a moment, and then Sirius smirked, and took off into the stacks.

“Umm, did I just hear him running away?” Thea asked, opening one eye to look around, then opened the other.

”I believe so, yes,” Remus answered, watching Thea intently. Sirius must have done _something_. But what was it? 

And then he noticed. Thea’s head was smoking a bit.

”That’s so strange. Why do you think he did that?”

”Thea.”

”I mean, if he wanted me to look stupid, he didn’t have to actually do anything other-“

” _Thea_.”

”What?”

“Your hair...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this one was super short, but i’ve been having a bit of trouble writing this particular bit of the story  
> i’ve written a scene that happens in a bit, i’m just having a hard time getting to it  
> anyways, thats about it  
> i hope you enjoyedddddd x


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